Empathy & Dvd Extras

 Director, Gabriele Muccino and Will Smith

I am one of those people who watches the dvd extras and I mean all of them. There's always a gem. While watching the extras for "Seven Pounds" something in particular resonated with me and I found it truly inspiring. I really loved the insight that everyone gave about Gabriele, the Director. He is an emotionally in tune guy and asks for that extra bit from his actors. It reminded me of an exercise Shak suggested a little while ago. She suggested we ask people what they saw as our natural talent/gift. I asked and kept hearing, empathetic...and that I'm incredibly intense but more on that later.... lol What this translates into for me as a Director is the ability to understand where a character is coming from and getting that depth from my actor by being able to articulate what he/she needs to feel and what I need to feel from them. Awesome. The hard work is in conveying it in a manner that can be understood. A part of being the best is understanding your strengths and weaknesses.

So, what exactly is Empathy? There are several forms of empathy but let's start with the origin of the word. Hmmmm the origin of Empathy is from the Greek word empatheia which means literally, passion. 

Definition: : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

Ha! I love it. Yep, that pretty much sums me up. Passion, sensitivity, intense emotions.... I think we all relate with the world outside of us from within in a manner that is most natural. Some people see rigid lines whilst others see equations. Others still, see a cornucopia of colors or wavelengths. I am sensitive to my surroundings. I sometimes still battle whether or not this is a "good" thing. Kindness and beauty will bring me to tears. Joy wells up inside of me and bursts from my spirit and eyes. The other side of that coin is true, as well. When I see/feel sadness or despair it strikes a deep cord. What I am working on is experiencing those things without holding on to them. All of that... joy, pain, despair, beauty and graciousness are a part of life but we are ingrained to believe that joy is fleeting and pain is forever. Think about the saying, "through rose colored glasses". Its origin is to describe someone who has a positive optimistic view of life and/or a situation. Currently, I hear it used commonly to describe someone who isn't seeing life clearly. That person is forgetting the pain they endured. SMH. Why? Why are we taught to "wait for the other shoe to drop"? That something is "too good to be true"? Well, my guess is the answer is the saying "misery loves company". lol I believe we are supposed to forget the pain. Too often, myself included, we wear it around like badges of honor for experiencing life. But I am learning that that is just another way of playing the victim card. When I had that "aha!" moment, I almost fell out of my seat. Wow. What is truly healthy empathy? I believe it's using those deep feelings to help get others through their current pain by whatever medium suits you a film, play, song, poem, blog etc. Not to hold on to it and relive it on a daily basis or when an experience creates a trigger. 

Release. Release the pain. How? Through forgiveness. How do you forgive? Start with yourself. We must forgive ourselves and recognize that we learned from the experience (joy point!) and did the best we could at that time (another joy point!). When we forgive ourselves everyone else involved becomes easier to forgive. We don't secretly blame ourselves and try to pass it off on someone else. We extend them the same courtesy, they did the best they could with what they had at that point. I'd like to be like a duck in this instance. A duck gets wet but the water also rolls off it's back. 

*Puts on her rose colored glasses and smiles*

100.

Bright.

To Be or Not To Be...Narcissistic

Narcissus by Caravaggio

I've found that a lot of people misconstrue narcissism with self awareness.  My desire to understand myself better enables me to be a better artist, friend, mate, sister yadda yadda yadda.  The difficult part of that journey is that many people are not on the same page.  I want to share my stories, the triumphs and failures because we can all learn from them.  The failures enable me to have compassion and empathy.  I am working to overcome my disappointment within when I feel I have slipped back into some previous way of being or thought process.  I mean, damn, haven't I outgrown that by now?!  The trouble is that when I think I've overcome something intellectually it may rear it's ugly head in a new form and here we go.  That tells me that what ever that habit may be, like having a cigarette when I'm out drinking with friends from time to time, is that subconsciously "I ain't there yet."  But it's painful for a person like me who strives for perfection (gotta figure out where that comes from) because I see that others are a work in progress but it's difficult for me to accept it of myself at times.  Intellectually, I understand it but subconsciously, I have to be more, do more.  The gift and the curse.  That means that I won't take "no" for an answer, I'll persevere through anything and at the same time when I faulter, sometimes I beat myself up terribly.  I, too, am unreasonable.  How else to you get unreasonable results?  Do the seemingly impossible?  

What have I been learning?  ....Well, something I now know is the strength in communicating properly.  What may seem obvious to me may not be to someone else who really cares about me.  So, that means being more assertive about what I think and feel immediately because that could cause a rift that was unintended.  My sensitivity is a strength not a curse.  For instance, I l-o-v-e the dvd extras and there's this director named, Gabriele Muccino, who directed "Seven Pounds" and "Pursuit of Happyness".  What Will Smith loves about him is that he is so in touch with his feelings.  I saw that my gift of empathy will enable me to connect with people on a deeper level.  However, if I try to fight that then my actors, crew, friends, etc. will come off equally repressed.  Funny, right?  The people around us are a mere reflection of what's within.  My digging to become more aware of self even shows up in the books I read.  I went to Borders to pick up several books on screenwriting and could only find two of the ones I was looking for and picked up another book because Shak mentioned something about psychology (message) just before I walked into the store.  I didn't find what I wanted instead I found what I needed.  Both books speak explicitly about uncovering self to delve deeper into your characters.  

I'm remembering to remember to listen to my inner wisdom.  Still don't have that down just yet but I'm making strides.  I was on set the other day talking to Shak about something quasi personal and a young lady happened to be standing within earshot. Normally, I would not continue to speak but something within told me to continue because she needed to hear what I was saying.  Sure enough, as soon as I got off of the phone she came over to tell me that she heard what I was talking about and then offered me a "life gem", she told me of a book entitled "The Four Agreements."  Tomorrow, I'm headed to Borders, again.  

This I know for sure (what up Ms. WINfrey!)...when I share myself with others I am truly giving and that's the most amazing feeling.


100.

Bright


p.s. it's almost our birthdays!!!!! wahoooooooooooooo :)