Right Here, Right Now...

I almost wanted to cry...or shout...or scream....to someone, anyone...And when I got the news that the music video I was supposed to Direct was canceled, I was in the worst wall to wall traffic that I had ever seen on main and side streets in all of LA.  Having to sit in that traffic forced me to really think about what this meant to my life.  The artist was cool.  He had other things that he had to devote his time to so, although he really wanted to do the video he was ok because he had other things he'd done to help propel himself forward.  After a few minutes and I am proud to say it was only a few, I was able to see how fortunate I was to be where I was.  I was able to get a place here to stay when I first moved out, my current apartment was all but handed over to me, I was gifted a car after almost 2 years of renting cars to work, I never had to get a "real" job....  My life out here hasn't been easy, by any means, all the same...if I was supposed to move back to Atlanta, I would have done so by now.  I haven't gotten every single thing that I've wanted, per se, but every single thing that I needed.  And like that traffic forced me to take time to think, not being able to do that video forced me to take a sec to see clearly.  I have no idea what the silver lining is just yet, although I'm sure it will become apparent soon enough.  I am basking in the knowledge that I was protected.  

There is a daily encouragement that I read that states, to paraphrase, every prayer will be answered the key is to keep your focus on your goal.  Even if it takes time, use that time to reflect on yourself and see what else, what more you could be and do.  When it does come to fruition it will be in a form greater than you had ever hoped.  So, that's where I am.  I decided that I had to make sure I continued to beat on my craft and make myself the best that I can be.  Last night I put in more pages on my screenplay and that made me feel like a winner.  Maybe I have to soley put out my own works?  I am working on another short short with Maya & Sakinah.  Shak has a fantastic idea I cannot discuss for fear of some penalty worse than death.  lol  So things are definitely coming up...this is all an opportunity as opposed to an obstacle.

When I was driving and noticed the streets were just blocked off and there wasn't an accident (thankfully) I knew something was up.  Come to find out, the traffic that put our entire city on pause last night was President Obama coming to visit.  Can't be mad at that.  Welcome to LA, Mr. President, especially because it was for a fundraiser.  Well, that traffic was there to protect him and I think this pause was given to me to protect me.  Thank you, Universe, 'preciate it.  :)

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Bright  

Balancing: On a Surf Board & in Life

Let me start by saying I am not a natural.  lol  And I'm not really sure what exactly attracted my spirit to surfing in the first place.  I didn't have the desire to be pro necessarily (at some point I may be and that would be uber fresh!).  I guess there are some people who can get on a board and ride instantaneously but not me.  I love it, though, crazily enough.  I always have, before I even started learning, I knew that I was going to love it.  The first time I went out I was so frustrated because I could not paddle to save my life, for real.  I know how to swim but I was getting nowhere fast and got so pissed about it.  It used to, and still does sometimes, frustrate the hell out of me when I can't do something straightaway.  I guess it's that damned perfectionist in me.  Zero patience but I'm working on it.  :)  After a few more attempts I got better at paddling because I found out it was all about the balance on the board.  Making sure you center yourself enables you to work your arms in a more efficient way.   

In any case, this past Sunday I went surfing again.  It'd been a long while.  This last time out, though, I finally got used to falling.  I was ok about it at first and then it started to just get downright ridiculous.  The guy who was helping me asked me how I was doing periodically and one of those times I responded "Frustrated" after spitting out salt water and pushing my hair out of my face.  Then he told me with a smile, "Well, surfing is a frustrating sport."  Ain't that the truth.  I had to smile.  Isn't that the essence of life?  It's frustrating until you find your balance.  Although, I'm getting better at getting my balance while lying down on the board, I still have yet to sustain it standing up.  I've only ridden a wave once while standing.  I got my behind kicked by the ocean this past weekend and... it was awesome!  lol  For real.  I was exhausted afterwards and still had sand in my ears 2 days later but I felt like a winner.  Getting used to falling is like a fail in life...It's all about giving it your best every time out and getting back up.  As long as I learn from every trip out I'll keep getting better.  Moment of hilarity: I actually got better at falling.  lol  Isn't that something?  Knowing how to fall helps you keep more of your energy and not get hit by the board.  To get out there to catch a wave you go against the current.  There is water coming at you all of the time..all of the time.  I know now that it's the challenge of getting better that I love.  I am working to be in tune with this amazing element.  To get back out you have to dive under a wave so as not to get pushed back to the starting point, other times you have to stand sideways and lift up your board to limit the amount of impact of the water so you don't (once again) get pushed back.  Flowing through the obstacles is the key not avoiding them.  It's impossible to avoid obstacles if you want to ride a wave, even if you only get to ride it on your knees.  lol  If you don't want an obstacle, sit on the beach and watch.  Seriously.  To get anything worth having, you have to be in the water, on the field (like Shak says), or on the court.  Get me?  Challenging my frustrations head on and accepting help gets me better in life.  Point blank.  I didn't ride a wave standing up this weekend, only on my knees a few times and a partial stand (lol).  The other thing I noticed is being committed to standing everytime, whether or not it actual happens, is a key component.  Creating the vision and committing to the vision of your goal is the only way.  In my earlier tries I realized I wasn't always holding the vision of me riding the wave.  I was just on the board hoping I'd get there somehow.  What?!  How did I think I was gonna get up there?  The wave would magically scoop me up and place me upright?  No, I have to see myself pushing up, popping up and standing up all while remaining centered on my board from head to toe.  Shiiiiit.  That's a lot to see while you're making sure your board is also pointing straight towards the coast, and I mean not even kinda sideways.


Balancing in life to me at this juncture is making sure I challenge myself on the daily.  It keeps me sharp and makes me grow constantly.  I have to remember to remember to sharpen skills everyday, keep my self grounded and see my dream, live in it everyday.  Play, too.  But play with people who want more, do more, see more from themselves and life.  Play with people who have my best interests (and I have theirs) at heart.  All of this makes daily living productive (and fantastic).  Balance also means... Keep getting up, accepting that I'll probably fall again at some point, and by probably, I mean I will.  Not beating myself up because I'm not perfect just yet.  This used to be a huge thing for me with regard to Directing.  Just not wanting to suck, man.  lol  But just like surfing, and like Will Smith said, it's about beating on your craft.  I can't get better at anything unless I get out there and work at it.  I can't watch a show on surfing and get it, just like I can't read books on Directing and be fantastic at it.  Like Nike, "Just. Do. It."  And like Nike = Victory, so too, shall Victory be mine.  :)

Always winning....

100.

Bright

On Checking Your Faith Quotient...

Alternatively entitled:  

"You can never have too much faith."

Shirt by: The Billionaire P.A.

Something has changed, or shall I say resurfaced in a new light, within me.  My faith has grown tremendously and especially in action.  A couple of years ago I was very diligent about doing my prayers morning and evening everyday.  I may miss one morning or one evening here and there but I was pretty on top of it.  Then, I fell off out of nowhere.  I didn't lose my faith but I wasn't putting in nearly as much effort to do my prayers everyday.  As of the last month or so, I've stepped up my game 10 fold and what a difference I've seen in myself and in my life.  I mean I am really in flow with everything and everyone around me, again.  People just want to help, people are kind.  Green is super green and blue the bluest blue. I'm catching sunsets that are amazing.  "Coincidences" are happening at lightening speed and you wouldn't believe how many people are willing to help on my first music video which is coming up.  Everything is so effortless it seems.  My gratitude for it all is in direct correlation to what I'm putting into my life and everyone around me.  

Took this with my camera phone.  It's the reflection of the sunset through my side mirror.  I was late for an appointment due to crazy traffic.  Because of that, when I was leaving my appointment this was in the night sky.  How amazing.

As a Buddhist, I'm taught not to feel guilty about missing prayers.  I believe one mustn't do things begrudgingly, be it hanging out with friends or what have you.  What I have realized in hindsight, though, is that by letting that aspect of my life fall off, I lost my footing in life...for real.  I became irritable, worried, depressed and insecure.  These are not qualities I possess on any given day in my life.  That's just not me.  Slowly but surely as I stopped taking quiet time for myself to reflect upon my life, my spirit became disconnected from the Source and I was like a fish out of water gasping for air.  Only as of late have I realized where my true grounding in life comes from...practicing my faith.  For me, it's a base from which all things spring forth.  The way I interpret and communicate with others, the way I live, love myself and others, workout, create....  Geez, I really must have felt so arrogant or lazy to think I didn't need to put in the effort no matter if it was even 5 minutes in the morning and evening in front of my altar.  What does it feel like to be back?  Winning!  And you know how much I love winning.  :) lol  It really does feel amazing.  I feel like my old self but way more dope (if it's possible lol).  The reason is because I have this experience under my belt now.  I took my practice for granted.  That's it!  That's what it was.  I took my practice and thereby myself and my life for granted.  I wasn't practicing appreciating every moment and so more moments seemed to start sucking.  lol  But for real...having had this experience not only increases my faith but it's a reminder of how precious decisions truly are.  When I decided that my practice could take a backseat to most everything in my life everything became backwards, seriously.  Damn, it's all a reflection of me.  Everyday, that rings more and more true.  How much power we really have is incredible once we learn how to be in tune with the universe and wield it responsibly, we can see and create beauty in everything we come in contact with.  Everyday and evening as I remind myself that I am a Buddha and so are you I am in touch with the beauty, love, peace and compassion that encompasses and and surrounds us all.  (sorry, i just teared up for a sec.)  When I remind myself of that and continue to practice that on the daily I am more frequently enlightened.  Enlightenment is not a destination it's a practice.  Everyday we may have a moment or many moments where we are at one with everything.  To sustain that truth and understanding is my goal.  I know I can do it and am doing it.  Thank you and this is my sincere prayer.  With love...  Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

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Bright

p.s. please check out this guy The Billionaire P.A who made my new shirt (that I'm ordering), the pic above.  I t-t-totally love his philosophy..."I am going to help over a billion people speak their dreams into existence!  That is why I call myself "The Billionaire P.A."; not just to acquire a billionaire dollars, but to inspire over one billion people.  My success will come through helping billions of people develop wealthy minds.  The best part about what I do is I save lives tomorrow that want to die today."
http://www.wealthymindsclothing.com/

I'm Inspired By: Acting

Many times when we’re on our journey we become exhausted by the grind itself or loss in the sauce. LOL And that’s why we have to stay inspired. After leaving an acting workshop a few weeks ago and listening to the panel (writers, studio heads, playwrights, acting coaches, and marketing experts) I listened to the panel talk about what it takes to make it in the acting business and the fact that 98% will fail (OUCH). They covered topics about marketing, saving do-re-mi, networking, taking classes to sharpen your skills, and hustling. Some even ventured to talk about the mystical aspects of being a believer and “highly favored” or “lucky” enough to find the right opportunities on their path.  I happen to be a believer.  :) 

And for a moment I thought to myself, “of course everyone wants to get the prize (money), the glory and the fame”.  But today thinking the workshop over I realized that something was missing. Something wasn’t quite acknowledged in that theatre on that day.  It was the acting GRIND itself.  Putting in countless hours to become better at what you love is also a major reward.  A person becomes forever changed.  There are countless folks who make it to the top without putting in "the work" sort of speak.  But I always wonder if they appreciate it as much when they're not respected by their peers.  There are countless stories of drug abuse, addictions and negative behavior that plague the industry for countless reasons.  The money and the fame definitely can't guarantee what we all want which is happiness.  And personally, I'm most happy when I'm embracing the work itself.   All the risks and rewards are in the work itself.

Every time someone goes on stage; their Failure rate is huge, they can miss the mark and become unsuccessful in the worst way possible…publicly. It dawned on me that no one had even made the slightest mention of this at the workshop. Actors are already winning.  98% of the world would never take those types of risks.  Images come to mind of my friends and fam who are still waiting to take their next step in life but are reluctant for fear of failing.  I imagined dragging each of them on stage, kicking and screaming, to get rid of their fear for once and for all. :)

Besides I turned to acting for something entirely different.  I wanted a bigger challenge in life (not grinding in Hollywood but acting itself) and to become great at something totally different.  If I had never tried out for an audition; I would have never found out my innate gift of recalling my emotional memory.  For me landing a tv show or a major theatre production is extra.  The risk/reward is already built into acting itself.  One of the workshop panelist actually said that she was a horrible actress but always worked in the business because she knew how to “market” herself.  I don’t know if that was supposed to inspire us to take her course.  I actually felt bad for her.  Why go after something that you don't want to do? Or did she really want to act but was covering up her fear? 

What we put in is what we get back.  It might not seem that way but it’s physics. That’s why if you are going to do something half ass you might as well not do it at all. Our brains will record that as a pattern. Too many of those patterns and we’re in big trouble doing the same ol’, same ol’.  Of course she’s no longer acting, she’s teaching marketing workshops to actors.  And one by one each person on stage told their story about how they had started in acting but had ended up doing different things.  I don’t know if anyone else took notice.  But I wanted to know why did they all leave acting behind?  Some were presented with amazing career opportunities.  But I couldn’t help but wonder where the successful actor story was that day?

A teacher told me, “When a painting is criticized the painter can step back and detach himself from his artwork.  Actors are the canvas and the painting, there is no detachment.” Maybe, no one wanted to say it. But it’s not just the hustle and/or the lack of work that sucks being a "working" actor; it’s the acting work itself that is the most grueling.  Most people don’t like to open up to one person around them.  Most of us live our whole lives trying to avoid rejection, but that’s impossible as an actor.  It's an actor's job to expose the inner most part of herself in order to connect with her audience and hopefully make them feel something.

What a crazy opportunity for actors then!  To learn how to take rejection over and over again in order to hit a specific goal, and I'm not talking about a callback.  I'm talking about making the casting directors, the audience or whoever is watching in that moment FEEL differently because of your performance.  WOW!  A callback or being casted is extra, it's icing on the cake.  But no one can take away your performance, your ability to affect people in that moment.  And at the moment, I can’t think of a more worthwhile pursuit while I'm alive. 

Shak
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