I remember my mom would say, "You just don't fear anything do you?" That was after I nearly cut my left thumb off as a result of a water fight. I sliced it on glass bowl inside of a friend’s house. In the hospital I remember being ticked that I wasn’t going to make it to the movies that night. While raging war on the other girls with my water bombs, I severed a major nerve and ended up needing months of physical therapy. But that’s how life is at times when you get lost in the moment. It can be exhilarating and extremely painful. I guess I've always been some what of a rabble-rouser, doing things that I “shouldn’t” be doing. Is that so bad?
I've tried to be totally lady-like and abide by certain rules and structures. Let's be honest, it sucks and it’s kinda boring. Don’t get me wrong it’s major fun dressing lady-like and it's cool being a lady in a relationship. Even still, it's not enough for this experience called life. It's never been enough for me. There's like this lil beast inside that rages to do things, grow, stretch, test things to the limit. Life has to be intense, extreme even. I’m a Porsche that’s built to race, hugging the side of the road, screaming to go a little bit faster. There’s this yearning to feel, to taste all that can be experienced. And yet it’s sooo hard when you’re surrounded by endless lanes of blah. I find myself slowing down to plan for the next exit on the fwy. And lately my car has been stuck on idle. For me, that’s worst than the engine dying.
I mean why are we all here? What’s the point if it’s not to be ALIVE? See! Hear! Smell! Touch! Taste!
And just like that, I was humming along on the fwy one day and the soundtrack showed up. I heard this voice. The sound was like a heartbeat on fire, bursting in flames. I’m like, “YOOOOOOOOOOOOO who is this chick, I NEED HER?” She wailed over the guitar and her voice got stuck in my heart. And like a fiend, I started scrambling to find the sound, the song, any resemblance of that tribalistic noise. It changed me. I was so high.
And just like love, I was infected. You can’t stop matters of the heart. There are times I’ve tried to erase the feeling behind meeting a stranger. Fools we are, thinking we are in control. And I began my hunt. I went back to the radio station for it. Nothing! Not even after a month. And since I suck at remembering what I hear, I had the lyrics all wrong. My Google searches and iTunes searches were leading me to nowhereseville. DAMN IT! Finally, the other day while driving to that same friend’s house, it came on and I BLASTED it. This time the hit was even more surreal than the first like I was barely even to focus on the road. And in those 3 minutes I lost myself completely. I can’t even tell you what she was saying. All I know is that I left myself…flying. That’s what artists can do to you if you're not careful. They speak to our souls with or without our permission. They remind us why we’re here in the first place. It doesn’t matter what language they use because the universal language, that existed before time isn’t spoken at all but rather felt.
It’s one thing to be entertained. I’ve been entertained and delighted plenty of times, pops songs and all. But it’s a whole other thing to be swallowed up in an artist’s trance unable to break free of their melody.
One day, I sincerely hope you find a song that SHAKES the dust off your wings whatever it may be. And when you do find it, I hope it makes you roll down your windows, speed up a little faster and yell out the window like your life depends on it. If you’re lucky it might remind you of why you’re here in the first place.
http://florenceandthemachine.net/video (Dog Days Are Over)
Shak
100.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I'm Inspired by Martha Graham
http://www.google.com/
Here’s there exchange:
According to Agnes de Mille: "The greatest thing she ever said to me was in 1943 after the opening of Oklahoma!, when I suddenly had unexpected, flamboyant success for a work I thought was only fairly good, after years of neglect for work I thought was fine. I was bewildered and worried that my entire scale of values was untrustworthy. I talked to Martha. I remember the conversation well. It was in a Schrafft's restaurant over a soda. I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be.
Martha said to me, very quietly:"
“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."
I need to frame her quote. I feel that the greatest thing you can do creatively in the beginning is to stay open to the inspiration. Most people choke it because they’re too busy worried about the outcome, or they get caught up in executing busy work or how it looks along the way. In their attempt to completely control the creative process they close up the exchange, suffocate it and so they don’t receive the energy. And there is so much purity and power in that exchange. It’s how folks are able to do ish they’ve never done before creatively. And I’ve never heard anyone reference it so explicitly until now. Well besides in Star Wars but that’s “fiction”. I love this part especially, “it is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open”.
How lovely and how freeing that is for all creators. She's saying, there is something worthwhile about your creation because it's uniquely you. WOW! Thanks Martha.
Shak
100.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)

