Empathy & Dvd Extras

 Director, Gabriele Muccino and Will Smith

I am one of those people who watches the dvd extras and I mean all of them. There's always a gem. While watching the extras for "Seven Pounds" something in particular resonated with me and I found it truly inspiring. I really loved the insight that everyone gave about Gabriele, the Director. He is an emotionally in tune guy and asks for that extra bit from his actors. It reminded me of an exercise Shak suggested a little while ago. She suggested we ask people what they saw as our natural talent/gift. I asked and kept hearing, empathetic...and that I'm incredibly intense but more on that later.... lol What this translates into for me as a Director is the ability to understand where a character is coming from and getting that depth from my actor by being able to articulate what he/she needs to feel and what I need to feel from them. Awesome. The hard work is in conveying it in a manner that can be understood. A part of being the best is understanding your strengths and weaknesses.

So, what exactly is Empathy? There are several forms of empathy but let's start with the origin of the word. Hmmmm the origin of Empathy is from the Greek word empatheia which means literally, passion. 

Definition: : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

Ha! I love it. Yep, that pretty much sums me up. Passion, sensitivity, intense emotions.... I think we all relate with the world outside of us from within in a manner that is most natural. Some people see rigid lines whilst others see equations. Others still, see a cornucopia of colors or wavelengths. I am sensitive to my surroundings. I sometimes still battle whether or not this is a "good" thing. Kindness and beauty will bring me to tears. Joy wells up inside of me and bursts from my spirit and eyes. The other side of that coin is true, as well. When I see/feel sadness or despair it strikes a deep cord. What I am working on is experiencing those things without holding on to them. All of that... joy, pain, despair, beauty and graciousness are a part of life but we are ingrained to believe that joy is fleeting and pain is forever. Think about the saying, "through rose colored glasses". Its origin is to describe someone who has a positive optimistic view of life and/or a situation. Currently, I hear it used commonly to describe someone who isn't seeing life clearly. That person is forgetting the pain they endured. SMH. Why? Why are we taught to "wait for the other shoe to drop"? That something is "too good to be true"? Well, my guess is the answer is the saying "misery loves company". lol I believe we are supposed to forget the pain. Too often, myself included, we wear it around like badges of honor for experiencing life. But I am learning that that is just another way of playing the victim card. When I had that "aha!" moment, I almost fell out of my seat. Wow. What is truly healthy empathy? I believe it's using those deep feelings to help get others through their current pain by whatever medium suits you a film, play, song, poem, blog etc. Not to hold on to it and relive it on a daily basis or when an experience creates a trigger. 

Release. Release the pain. How? Through forgiveness. How do you forgive? Start with yourself. We must forgive ourselves and recognize that we learned from the experience (joy point!) and did the best we could at that time (another joy point!). When we forgive ourselves everyone else involved becomes easier to forgive. We don't secretly blame ourselves and try to pass it off on someone else. We extend them the same courtesy, they did the best they could with what they had at that point. I'd like to be like a duck in this instance. A duck gets wet but the water also rolls off it's back. 

*Puts on her rose colored glasses and smiles*

100.

Bright.

Let's GO!!!!

Finally I found a sensible, rational health tip that is worth something. Jamar and Sean (my trainers) would be proud…cut 250 calories per day and burn an extra 250 calories per day and 14 lbs should be OUTTA here by Labor Day Sept 5th. That sounds easy enough and we’re only 9 days behind. Notice how I said we’re (meaning you and me). I don’t like doing uncomfortable things by myself. There is something to be said about group suffering that is much more heartfelt, poetic even.


Now, like most of you, I want to lose around 10-15 more LBS. Am I asking for the moon? NOOOOO! And I have a pretty good suspicion about what’s been keeping these 10 lbs on me. Not my Americanos in the morning, not my unsalted peanuts snacks or my chili beans w/ corn on the cob. It’s those stupidy chocolate calories. If I say goodbye, there goes my 10 LBS.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Is there no justice in the world!

The problem is I’m not that sensible. Of course skinny minnies (i.e. my friend Brenda) proclaim, “Eat in moderation”. Sure I can eat green beans w/ chicken w/ a few spoonfuls of rice, or a 6 in tuna sub on wheat bread at Subway w/ cheese but only ½ the bread with a bite of chocolate for dessert. Oh and I can do well with this sort of thing for about a week. But then this lil voice starts yelling at me, “Stop being a lil wuss, moderation is the mother of BORING! Are you going to let those salad-eating pansies tell you what to do? Give me chocolate or give me death!” And sadly, I have no comeback for that type of passion and zealous response. How do you combat such charisma? And then I realize I’ve lost again, sabotaged by my alter ego, me.

No worries, I will prevail with a little help of course, maybe some therapy. Who will join me? 10 lbs by September 5th? Any takers? Go! Go! Go! On a more cheery note, I have been more consistent with the workouts than my eating. We have to take our strengths and build upon those. Like this random kid told me, “Every day I try to be the handball king”.

Tootles,
Shak
100.

The Take Over...Love

there's been no mistake,
it's first degree murder
i know what's at stake,
i'll go a bit further
my grave I have to make

i'm strapped and ready
to set the world on fire
many flames are unlit
but they're not retired
who better than a misfit

i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run

i'm starting with the heads
cuz they are steadily rotting

freezing assets for access
financial systems tip-topping
this is play-time, it's recess

i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run

first your masks will come off
i'm the only one that can be armed
it may feel like a loss
strip down, no need for alarm
bare bones no shiny gloss

i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run

i may seem a little undone
but promise this war will be won
i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run


Shak
100.

I'm inspired by Florence and the Machine...Lose Yourself

I remember my mom would say, "You just don't fear anything do you?" That was after I nearly cut my left thumb off as a result of a water fight. I sliced it on glass bowl inside of a friend’s house. In the hospital I remember being ticked that I wasn’t going to make it to the movies that night. While raging war on the other girls with my water bombs, I severed a major nerve and ended up needing months of physical therapy. But that’s how life is at times when you get lost in the moment. It can be exhilarating and extremely painful. I guess I've always been some what of a rabble-rouser, doing things that I “shouldn’t” be doing. Is that so bad?


I've tried to be totally lady-like and abide by certain rules and structures. Let's be honest, it sucks and it’s kinda boring. Don’t get me wrong it’s major fun dressing lady-like and it's cool being a lady in a relationship. Even still, it's not enough for this experience called life. It's never been enough for me. There's like this lil beast inside that rages to do things, grow, stretch, test things to the limit. Life has to be intense, extreme even. I’m a Porsche that’s built to race, hugging the side of the road, screaming to go a little bit faster. There’s this yearning to feel, to taste all that can be experienced. And yet it’s sooo hard when you’re surrounded by endless lanes of blah. I find myself slowing down to plan for the next exit on the fwy.  And lately my car has been stuck on idle.  For me, that’s worst than the engine dying.

I mean why are we all here? What’s the point if it’s not to be ALIVE? See! Hear! Smell! Touch! Taste!

And just like that, I was humming along on the fwy one day and the soundtrack showed up. I heard this voice. The sound was like a heartbeat on fire, bursting in flames. I’m like, “YOOOOOOOOOOOOO who is this chick, I NEED HER?” She wailed over the guitar and her voice got stuck in my heart. And like a fiend, I started scrambling to find the sound, the song, any resemblance of that tribalistic noise. It changed me. I was so high.

And just like love, I was infected. You can’t stop matters of the heart. There are times I’ve tried to erase the feeling behind meeting a stranger. Fools we are, thinking we are in control. And I began my hunt. I went back to the radio station for it. Nothing! Not even after a month. And since I suck at remembering what I hear, I had the lyrics all wrong. My Google searches and iTunes searches were leading me to nowhereseville. DAMN IT! Finally, the other day while driving to that same friend’s house, it came on and I BLASTED it. This time the hit was even more surreal than the first like I was barely even to focus on the road. And in those 3 minutes I lost myself completely. I can’t even tell you what she was saying. All I know is that I left myself…flying. That’s what artists can do to you if you're not careful. They speak to our souls with or without our permission. They remind us why we’re here in the first place. It doesn’t matter what language they use because the universal language, that existed before time isn’t spoken at all but rather felt.

It’s one thing to be entertained. I’ve been entertained and delighted plenty of times, pops songs and all. But it’s a whole other thing to be swallowed up in an artist’s trance unable to break free of their melody.
One day, I sincerely hope you find a song that SHAKES the dust off your wings whatever it may be. And when you do find it, I hope it makes you roll down your windows, speed up a little faster and yell out the window like your life depends on it. If you’re lucky it might remind you of why you’re here in the first place.

http://florenceandthemachine.net/video (Dog Days Are Over)

Shak
100.

I'm Inspired by Martha Graham

Check out Google today, 5/1/11, it’s inspired by a dancer/choreographer named Martha Graham. I took a few moments to look her up on my fav, Wikipedia. And I found an amazing convo that she had with a dancer who was an up and comer at the time.
http://www.google.com/

Here’s there exchange:

According to Agnes de Mille: "The greatest thing she ever said to me was in 1943 after the opening of Oklahoma!, when I suddenly had unexpected, flamboyant success for a work I thought was only fairly good, after years of neglect for work I thought was fine. I was bewildered and worried that my entire scale of values was untrustworthy. I talked to Martha. I remember the conversation well. It was in a Schrafft's restaurant over a soda. I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be.

Martha said to me, very quietly:"

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

I need to frame her quote. I feel that the greatest thing you can do creatively in the beginning is to stay open to the inspiration. Most people choke it because they’re too busy worried about the outcome, or they get caught up in executing busy work or how it looks along the way. In their attempt to completely control the creative process they close up the exchange, suffocate it and so they don’t receive the energy. And there is so much purity and power in that exchange. It’s how folks are able to do ish they’ve never done before creatively. And I’ve never heard anyone reference it so explicitly until now. Well besides in Star Wars but that’s “fiction”.  I love this part especially, “it is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open”.

How lovely and how freeing that is for all creators.  She's saying, there is something worthwhile about your creation because it's uniquely you.  WOW!  Thanks Martha.

Shak
100.

What is an artist?

Dear best self,

Why can't you just bend?  How about a little?
 I think there is a big difference b/w wanting to create for the sake of having talent (singing, dancing, acting, writing and rapping) and having to SPILL out what’s inside you because you have to get something out to the world. To be honest, I was just about to go the regular Hollywood path, getting Headshots, taking classes, looking for an agent, hitting the audition path in order to fit into the mold but I lost all my energy along the way. Reminds of me of when I was in the music industry game, I would have killed myself trying to fit into their box, and almost succeeded against the strongest of wills holding me back. But in reality I’m not just a talent, secretly I’m really an artist posing as a talent. I’ve always been.


It’s funny because I really do appreciate other people’s visions and their EFFORT to create them. But when you see variations of the same PATTERNS, the same reoccurring characters being recycled over and over it’s enough to make me check out. And I see why many artists live lives of solitude. They’re so tired of the same song being played on repeat that they say to hell with trying to listen for a new tune. But new lyrics are written. And new patterns do emerge it’s what gives us hope. Yet, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Beethoven, Van Gogh, Cobaine and others have decided to leave this space. One can only desperately Jazzle (fit into the plastic molding) in an attempt to be normal for so long.

I finally asked my dad to level with me, “What do you see is my number one stumbling block to succeeding as an artist?” In so many words, he said, “Time, Resources and Focus”. He went on to tell me that I have an umbrella of projects with only a limited amount of hours and only a certain amount of focus to devote to any number of those projects at any given time. He explained that I have to increase my focus and narrow it at the same time. WOWZERS! Then he hit me in the gut. “I think you should get a list of all of the projects you’ve started and decide which ONE you’re going to accomplish first”. He went on to say, “This will not be easy for you. You’ve always had a number of competing demands vying for your attention. I suggest you take a weekend, a week or a month to decide which one you will prioritize.” Then he hit me with the upper cut. “Don’t abandon that first project EVEN if it means taking 2 years to accomplish it; do not move to number 2 unless you finish number 1. And it will be the most painful and liberating thing you’ve ever accomplished.” I appreciate him for his honesty.

All of a sudden I could remember the passages from Russell Simmons book in “Do You” talking about vision and how you should never abandon your original vision. GREAT! That now leaves me with making another BIG decision. Gotta love how answering one decision about your path (I’m going to create all original content) pushes you into making another decision (which content?). And the big Q: emerged, which one of my projects do I choose? That’s like picking between kids, if I had kids. How do you say, “I love you all the same, but I just need to focus on your brother this semester, well maybe the next four years because he’s about to go off to college”. I mean how do you choose? My pops also concluded with more painful commentary. I said, “How often do you think artists make real money”? He said, “Hardly ever, but when they are creating they’re happy and that’s far more than most people can ever say in this lifetime”.

Guess that old man has a point. Gotta love that wisdom!

Shak
100.

P.S. I love this guy’s story about what makes someone a true artist.
http://sye.me/post/742070566/what-makes-someone-an-artist

What is she?

The first time I was asked, “What are you mixed with?”

I might have been in grade school
I don’t remember the answer I gave
But I’ve always been a dreamer
So I probably made the answer up
I can do that you know?
Ah…what a gift
Who knew it would become a permanent fixture
The question(s)…
But how do you give an answer that has no frame of reference?
I was a kid outside my jurisdiction
Alien…foreign…edge-dweller
I learned to adapt
To live outside the margins
Where there is only open space
Lonely space…uniqueness is
Besides I’ve searched, looked in between the lines
I ain’t there, mon cher
It always begins with a particular look
I can read the puzzle in their eyes
Is she…no maybe she isn’t?
I smile
I often watch their politeness turn to angst
The uncomfortable language their body exposes
And the cunningly bold, make an attempt to stuff me in a box
So “isn’t it cool we have a Black President now?” they blurt out of nowhere
How strange but awkwardly amusing at the same time
They gasp, they wait for a response
Their ears listening for my dialect to offer a helpful hint
A subtle guide in the right direction
But I don’t write between the lines,
Because I can
“Umm sure”, no dialect there, just hints of West LA
They’re back at square one
"Maybe she isn’t”
I don’t know why it’s so hard to just say hello
I’m friendly
But it’s the categories that drive us
We need the boxes more than the hellos
That damn coffin of a box
I’ll never use it…I swear allegiance to its end
Besides make believe is much more fun
I dwell there…I belong everywhere and nowhere
I am what I am

Shak
100.