I'm inspired by Florence and the Machine...Lose Yourself

I remember my mom would say, "You just don't fear anything do you?" That was after I nearly cut my left thumb off as a result of a water fight. I sliced it on glass bowl inside of a friend’s house. In the hospital I remember being ticked that I wasn’t going to make it to the movies that night. While raging war on the other girls with my water bombs, I severed a major nerve and ended up needing months of physical therapy. But that’s how life is at times when you get lost in the moment. It can be exhilarating and extremely painful. I guess I've always been some what of a rabble-rouser, doing things that I “shouldn’t” be doing. Is that so bad?


I've tried to be totally lady-like and abide by certain rules and structures. Let's be honest, it sucks and it’s kinda boring. Don’t get me wrong it’s major fun dressing lady-like and it's cool being a lady in a relationship. Even still, it's not enough for this experience called life. It's never been enough for me. There's like this lil beast inside that rages to do things, grow, stretch, test things to the limit. Life has to be intense, extreme even. I’m a Porsche that’s built to race, hugging the side of the road, screaming to go a little bit faster. There’s this yearning to feel, to taste all that can be experienced. And yet it’s sooo hard when you’re surrounded by endless lanes of blah. I find myself slowing down to plan for the next exit on the fwy.  And lately my car has been stuck on idle.  For me, that’s worst than the engine dying.

I mean why are we all here? What’s the point if it’s not to be ALIVE? See! Hear! Smell! Touch! Taste!

And just like that, I was humming along on the fwy one day and the soundtrack showed up. I heard this voice. The sound was like a heartbeat on fire, bursting in flames. I’m like, “YOOOOOOOOOOOOO who is this chick, I NEED HER?” She wailed over the guitar and her voice got stuck in my heart. And like a fiend, I started scrambling to find the sound, the song, any resemblance of that tribalistic noise. It changed me. I was so high.

And just like love, I was infected. You can’t stop matters of the heart. There are times I’ve tried to erase the feeling behind meeting a stranger. Fools we are, thinking we are in control. And I began my hunt. I went back to the radio station for it. Nothing! Not even after a month. And since I suck at remembering what I hear, I had the lyrics all wrong. My Google searches and iTunes searches were leading me to nowhereseville. DAMN IT! Finally, the other day while driving to that same friend’s house, it came on and I BLASTED it. This time the hit was even more surreal than the first like I was barely even to focus on the road. And in those 3 minutes I lost myself completely. I can’t even tell you what she was saying. All I know is that I left myself…flying. That’s what artists can do to you if you're not careful. They speak to our souls with or without our permission. They remind us why we’re here in the first place. It doesn’t matter what language they use because the universal language, that existed before time isn’t spoken at all but rather felt.

It’s one thing to be entertained. I’ve been entertained and delighted plenty of times, pops songs and all. But it’s a whole other thing to be swallowed up in an artist’s trance unable to break free of their melody.
One day, I sincerely hope you find a song that SHAKES the dust off your wings whatever it may be. And when you do find it, I hope it makes you roll down your windows, speed up a little faster and yell out the window like your life depends on it. If you’re lucky it might remind you of why you’re here in the first place.

http://florenceandthemachine.net/video (Dog Days Are Over)

Shak
100.

I'm Inspired by Martha Graham

Check out Google today, 5/1/11, it’s inspired by a dancer/choreographer named Martha Graham. I took a few moments to look her up on my fav, Wikipedia. And I found an amazing convo that she had with a dancer who was an up and comer at the time.
http://www.google.com/

Here’s there exchange:

According to Agnes de Mille: "The greatest thing she ever said to me was in 1943 after the opening of Oklahoma!, when I suddenly had unexpected, flamboyant success for a work I thought was only fairly good, after years of neglect for work I thought was fine. I was bewildered and worried that my entire scale of values was untrustworthy. I talked to Martha. I remember the conversation well. It was in a Schrafft's restaurant over a soda. I confessed that I had a burning desire to be excellent, but no faith that I could be.

Martha said to me, very quietly:"

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ... No artist is pleased. [There is] no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

I need to frame her quote. I feel that the greatest thing you can do creatively in the beginning is to stay open to the inspiration. Most people choke it because they’re too busy worried about the outcome, or they get caught up in executing busy work or how it looks along the way. In their attempt to completely control the creative process they close up the exchange, suffocate it and so they don’t receive the energy. And there is so much purity and power in that exchange. It’s how folks are able to do ish they’ve never done before creatively. And I’ve never heard anyone reference it so explicitly until now. Well besides in Star Wars but that’s “fiction”.  I love this part especially, “it is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open”.

How lovely and how freeing that is for all creators.  She's saying, there is something worthwhile about your creation because it's uniquely you.  WOW!  Thanks Martha.

Shak
100.

On Checking Your Faith Quotient...

Alternatively entitled:  

"You can never have too much faith."

Shirt by: The Billionaire P.A.

Something has changed, or shall I say resurfaced in a new light, within me.  My faith has grown tremendously and especially in action.  A couple of years ago I was very diligent about doing my prayers morning and evening everyday.  I may miss one morning or one evening here and there but I was pretty on top of it.  Then, I fell off out of nowhere.  I didn't lose my faith but I wasn't putting in nearly as much effort to do my prayers everyday.  As of the last month or so, I've stepped up my game 10 fold and what a difference I've seen in myself and in my life.  I mean I am really in flow with everything and everyone around me, again.  People just want to help, people are kind.  Green is super green and blue the bluest blue. I'm catching sunsets that are amazing.  "Coincidences" are happening at lightening speed and you wouldn't believe how many people are willing to help on my first music video which is coming up.  Everything is so effortless it seems.  My gratitude for it all is in direct correlation to what I'm putting into my life and everyone around me.  

Took this with my camera phone.  It's the reflection of the sunset through my side mirror.  I was late for an appointment due to crazy traffic.  Because of that, when I was leaving my appointment this was in the night sky.  How amazing.

As a Buddhist, I'm taught not to feel guilty about missing prayers.  I believe one mustn't do things begrudgingly, be it hanging out with friends or what have you.  What I have realized in hindsight, though, is that by letting that aspect of my life fall off, I lost my footing in life...for real.  I became irritable, worried, depressed and insecure.  These are not qualities I possess on any given day in my life.  That's just not me.  Slowly but surely as I stopped taking quiet time for myself to reflect upon my life, my spirit became disconnected from the Source and I was like a fish out of water gasping for air.  Only as of late have I realized where my true grounding in life comes from...practicing my faith.  For me, it's a base from which all things spring forth.  The way I interpret and communicate with others, the way I live, love myself and others, workout, create....  Geez, I really must have felt so arrogant or lazy to think I didn't need to put in the effort no matter if it was even 5 minutes in the morning and evening in front of my altar.  What does it feel like to be back?  Winning!  And you know how much I love winning.  :) lol  It really does feel amazing.  I feel like my old self but way more dope (if it's possible lol).  The reason is because I have this experience under my belt now.  I took my practice for granted.  That's it!  That's what it was.  I took my practice and thereby myself and my life for granted.  I wasn't practicing appreciating every moment and so more moments seemed to start sucking.  lol  But for real...having had this experience not only increases my faith but it's a reminder of how precious decisions truly are.  When I decided that my practice could take a backseat to most everything in my life everything became backwards, seriously.  Damn, it's all a reflection of me.  Everyday, that rings more and more true.  How much power we really have is incredible once we learn how to be in tune with the universe and wield it responsibly, we can see and create beauty in everything we come in contact with.  Everyday and evening as I remind myself that I am a Buddha and so are you I am in touch with the beauty, love, peace and compassion that encompasses and and surrounds us all.  (sorry, i just teared up for a sec.)  When I remind myself of that and continue to practice that on the daily I am more frequently enlightened.  Enlightenment is not a destination it's a practice.  Everyday we may have a moment or many moments where we are at one with everything.  To sustain that truth and understanding is my goal.  I know I can do it and am doing it.  Thank you and this is my sincere prayer.  With love...  Nam-myoho-renge-kyo.

100.

Bright

p.s. please check out this guy The Billionaire P.A who made my new shirt (that I'm ordering), the pic above.  I t-t-totally love his philosophy..."I am going to help over a billion people speak their dreams into existence!  That is why I call myself "The Billionaire P.A."; not just to acquire a billionaire dollars, but to inspire over one billion people.  My success will come through helping billions of people develop wealthy minds.  The best part about what I do is I save lives tomorrow that want to die today."
http://www.wealthymindsclothing.com/

I'm Inspired By: Acting

Many times when we’re on our journey we become exhausted by the grind itself or loss in the sauce. LOL And that’s why we have to stay inspired. After leaving an acting workshop a few weeks ago and listening to the panel (writers, studio heads, playwrights, acting coaches, and marketing experts) I listened to the panel talk about what it takes to make it in the acting business and the fact that 98% will fail (OUCH). They covered topics about marketing, saving do-re-mi, networking, taking classes to sharpen your skills, and hustling. Some even ventured to talk about the mystical aspects of being a believer and “highly favored” or “lucky” enough to find the right opportunities on their path.  I happen to be a believer.  :) 

And for a moment I thought to myself, “of course everyone wants to get the prize (money), the glory and the fame”.  But today thinking the workshop over I realized that something was missing. Something wasn’t quite acknowledged in that theatre on that day.  It was the acting GRIND itself.  Putting in countless hours to become better at what you love is also a major reward.  A person becomes forever changed.  There are countless folks who make it to the top without putting in "the work" sort of speak.  But I always wonder if they appreciate it as much when they're not respected by their peers.  There are countless stories of drug abuse, addictions and negative behavior that plague the industry for countless reasons.  The money and the fame definitely can't guarantee what we all want which is happiness.  And personally, I'm most happy when I'm embracing the work itself.   All the risks and rewards are in the work itself.

Every time someone goes on stage; their Failure rate is huge, they can miss the mark and become unsuccessful in the worst way possible…publicly. It dawned on me that no one had even made the slightest mention of this at the workshop. Actors are already winning.  98% of the world would never take those types of risks.  Images come to mind of my friends and fam who are still waiting to take their next step in life but are reluctant for fear of failing.  I imagined dragging each of them on stage, kicking and screaming, to get rid of their fear for once and for all. :)

Besides I turned to acting for something entirely different.  I wanted a bigger challenge in life (not grinding in Hollywood but acting itself) and to become great at something totally different.  If I had never tried out for an audition; I would have never found out my innate gift of recalling my emotional memory.  For me landing a tv show or a major theatre production is extra.  The risk/reward is already built into acting itself.  One of the workshop panelist actually said that she was a horrible actress but always worked in the business because she knew how to “market” herself.  I don’t know if that was supposed to inspire us to take her course.  I actually felt bad for her.  Why go after something that you don't want to do? Or did she really want to act but was covering up her fear? 

What we put in is what we get back.  It might not seem that way but it’s physics. That’s why if you are going to do something half ass you might as well not do it at all. Our brains will record that as a pattern. Too many of those patterns and we’re in big trouble doing the same ol’, same ol’.  Of course she’s no longer acting, she’s teaching marketing workshops to actors.  And one by one each person on stage told their story about how they had started in acting but had ended up doing different things.  I don’t know if anyone else took notice.  But I wanted to know why did they all leave acting behind?  Some were presented with amazing career opportunities.  But I couldn’t help but wonder where the successful actor story was that day?

A teacher told me, “When a painting is criticized the painter can step back and detach himself from his artwork.  Actors are the canvas and the painting, there is no detachment.” Maybe, no one wanted to say it. But it’s not just the hustle and/or the lack of work that sucks being a "working" actor; it’s the acting work itself that is the most grueling.  Most people don’t like to open up to one person around them.  Most of us live our whole lives trying to avoid rejection, but that’s impossible as an actor.  It's an actor's job to expose the inner most part of herself in order to connect with her audience and hopefully make them feel something.

What a crazy opportunity for actors then!  To learn how to take rejection over and over again in order to hit a specific goal, and I'm not talking about a callback.  I'm talking about making the casting directors, the audience or whoever is watching in that moment FEEL differently because of your performance.  WOW!  A callback or being casted is extra, it's icing on the cake.  But no one can take away your performance, your ability to affect people in that moment.  And at the moment, I can’t think of a more worthwhile pursuit while I'm alive. 

Shak
100.

things i love...pt 4

Alternatively entitled: 

"Random Acts of Kindness & A Trip to Method Acting"

Yesterday, I went to audit an acting class.  I haven't actually done acting since I was probably 15 yrs old.  It was my very first passion...until I was on an actual shooting set.  I'd done plays, taken classes blah blah blah.  Anyhoo, so I'm getting ready to bounce to the class.  I get to my car and it won't start.  I have a laser cut key because I drive a Saab and the car's computer wasn't accepting the key.  Come on, son!  lol  This put me behind several minutes.  I tried not to freak out because I really can't stand being late.  I get anxiety, it's wack.  So, I decide that I'm not going to go that route.  I decide to take my mind off of it and let the car sit for a sec.  I put on mascara, try again.  Nope.  Put on lip gloss, try again.  Sike.  Several minutes pass and I just continue to refocus my energy on calmness, peace and grounding and try again.  Alright, we're rollin'.  There are quite a few ways to get to the main street from where I live but I always let my spirit guide me on which path, I guess it's kinda like a choose your own adventure thing.  Anyhoo, the path for last night got me to a stoplight.  It was about to change (I'm winning!) and I saw a bus loading it's final passengers.  The bus driver closed the door but I saw a woman run up right afterwards.  She banged on the door to let the driver know she was there.  The driver took off through the light and my heart sank.  I can't stand to see people missing the bus.  I don't know why but I always feel like it'll change their whole day, you know?  Anyhoo, the bus crosses through my intersection as my light turns green and then stops on the other side of the street and opens the door.  I look over to the woman who is now defeated with her back to the bus.  I start immediately honking my horn and simultaneously roll down my window to let her know the bus is there for her.  Her face brightens and she runs across the street waving thanks to me.  It was fantastic.  It started to make me tear up because I love random acts of kindness like that of the bus driver.  I am inspired by seemingly small things like that.  It always amazes me and lifts my spirit to see someone do something for another simply out of the kindness of their heart.  Everytime, I think to myself we're getting closer to world peace.  Love it.

Anyhoo, I'm still trying to get to the class determined that I'll be on time.  Shak hits me that parking is a wrap to say the least.  I end up pulling up about 5 min late.  No parking anywhere remotely close until after 7p.  And at 7p finally find a space up the street.  They let me in even though I was supposed to be there at 6:45p.  Fantastic.  The class doesn't start until 20 min later.  They go through a slew of exercises and one of them is to close your eyes, take a deep breath and allow a sound come out that mirrors how you've felt that day/week/month/year.  Ok, cool.  When I tell you that the sounds that came out from EVERYONE were not unlike something that was a cross between "The Little Mermaid" when Ursula the octopus queen witch showed her her garden of "poor unfortunate souls" and what you'd expect to hear in Dante's Inferno...I'm not lying.  I turn to Shak and ask her, "Where is all of the happiness?"  She mirrors my shock saying her initial thought was to sing.  I agree saying that I was going to do something more along the lines of "LAAAAAAAAAAAAA".  lol  We watch in amazement and concern as they repeat the exercise and it continues.  So depressing, for real.  Anyhoo, the class was pretty cool, otherwise, in that the instructor was pretty dope at digging deeper to get what the students needed to go for from within.  I am interested in taking the class because I feel like it'll help me to be a better Director.  To really help my actors and thereby myself get the story that we want...the real story, not the surface, no-one-believes-you-because-we-know-you're-acting thing.  My desire is that people will get lost in my films because they see themselves there and let the actors inspire them to make better choices in their lives through our storytelling.  Making those better choices comes from being honest with yourself and what you're going through.  It's a part of the healing.  You can't heal if you don't address the wound and clean it.  The part that's kinda scary though is that method acting makes you drudge up something from your past even if you're over it, you've healed that wound.  You use it to create that real emotion that comes through but is that really healthy?  Is there another way to make the character truly identifiable without driving yourself and loved ones insane?  Acting is about telling the truth not lying so, I'm not sure at this point.  I need to do some more digging.  Maybe I'll try the class for a month because I do feel like I could learn a lot.  I have to have faith in my ability to center and recenter myself to get out what I need to on stage and leave it there.  Not to take it out into the rest of the world with me.  It's an art and a practice.  This will be an opportunity for me to become comfortable with that type of exposure as well as becoming more aware of my actions and the way I come across.  We'll see what develops.  :)

What I did realize, though, last night on my way home is that me seeing that situation with the bus and the woman was meant.  If my car started immediately, I wouldn't have been at the intersection to get her attention.  If I hadn't centered myself during and post the car situation, I may have only been thinking about myself and getting to the class.  I wouldn't have been able to be calm and observe my surroundings.  There weren't any other cars behind me and she would have missed the opportunity.  Maybe, just maybe, I am helping to bring about world peace on the daily.  :)

100.

Bright

I'm Inspired by: Invictus

I’m at it again. I’m back to slaying the beast (ME). And this time that means that I’m going to do a mini triathlon as inspiration to get the last 30 lbs off. Sometimes we have to kick our own butt to get the results that we desperately need. Most of us write ourselves off. We think that achieving a particular size, fitness goal or career goal is impossible because the truth is we don’t want to do THE WORK.


I realize I’ve hopped off my path in 2010. I wanted to see what it was like to have a more “balanced” life complete with dating and going out to b-day parties and chillin’. The truth is, it doesn’t feel good, it feels mediocre at best. Sure, everyone needs time to relax with friends and time to regroup; but what good is a vacation if you’re not committed to the GRIND. It’s THE WORK that makes a vacation feel necessary and appreciated. And how much work we put in determines how we feel about ourselves. Right now, I need that hard core work as fuel for all my future auditions. How could I possibly go on all those auditions not feeling and looking my best? Acting in and of itself is reserved for the warrior class. First you have to work on your mental prowess to withstand the insane amount of rejection; the physical restrictions is only ½ the battle.

I realized today that by me consistently eating junk food and sweets was just another form of self sabotage. If I don’t look and feel my best then I don’t have to pursue the path 100%, right? It’s something about going after the unknown that just sends my mind into a whirl wind. I’m deathly afraid. And so…I try not to commit fully so I have a back-up plan. I can tell others around me that I never went all out; so I really didn’t “want it’. I’m in “waiting” mode. Fear is so subtle. It disguises itself as a host of other things that we don’t easily recognize. But I see it for what it is now. And it’s time to jump back on the path full force.

I can’t wait. I’ll update with photos AND video along the way. I feel the sense of urgency is now. I can’t wait another pilot season. I can’t wait another day. It’s not going to be easy. I hate getting up at 4:30 AM to run. I hate being hungry in the middle of the day when there are pastries in my work café screaming at me to pick them up. :) But more than anything I hate waiting for something to happen to me.  I’m the master of my fate.  I’m the captain of my soul.

Shak
100.

Are you an observer or a doer?

Every day I question the pursuit of my path.  Every day I wonder why do I have this hunger to create.  Every day I wonder if I will be able to produce in time...before it's too late.  Every day I wonder if it is worth it to create when there is no guarantee that it will be received well or sold.  And every day I realize I have no choice but to create.  

 The story below is taken from Steven Pressfield's About section:  (He's a professional writer/screenwriter that is a major advocate of fighting one's own personal creative Resistance in order to "turn pro" or rather to become the great artists/writers/creators/actors/fill-in-the-blank that we are capable of becoming)

     My father was in the Navy, and I was born in Port of Spain, Trinidad, in 1943. I graduated from Duke University in 1965. Since then, I've worked as an advertising copywriter, schoolteacher, tractor-trailer driver, bartender, oilfield roustabout and attendant in a mental hospital. I've picked fruit in Washington state, written screenplays in Tinseltown, and was homeless, living out of the back of my car with my typewriter. My struggles to earn a living as a writer (it took seventeen years to get the first paycheck) are detailed in The War of Art.

     With the publication of The Legend of Bagger Vance in 1995, I became a writer of books once and for all. From there followed the historical novels Gates of Fire, Tides of War, Virtues of War, The Afghan Campaign and Killing Rommel.
     My writing philosophy is a kind of warrior code—internal rather than external—in which the enemy is identified as those forms of self-sabotage that I call "Resistance" with a capital R (in The War of Art). The technique for combating these foes can be described as "turning pro."
     I believe in previous lives and the Muse—and that books and music exist before they are written and that they are propelled into material being by their own imperative to be born, via the offices of those willing servants of discipline, imagination and inspiration, whom we call artists. My conception of the artist's role is a combination of reverence for the unknowable nature of "where it all comes from" and a no-nonsense, blue-collar demystification of the process by which this mystery is approached. In other words, a paradox.

     There's a recurring character in my books, named Telamon, a mercenary of ancient days. Telamon doesn't say much. He rarely gets hurt or wounded. And he never seems to age. His view of the profession of arms is a lot like my conception of art and the artist: "It is one thing to study war, and another to live the warrior's life."

I love the fact that he's done a catrillion things in his life, I've often felt weird that I've worked a million jobs in search of my highest calling, only to find that it doesn't exist, I have to create it.  Sometimes I think it's the search, the pursuit that drives me, the longing to become MORE in this lifetime.


Here's a guy that's shining the light on those who are willing and courageous enough to heed the warrior's call.  I believe we all receive this call in life at one point or another to follow what's in our heart but we all don't  follow.   I love his last line, "It is one thing to study war, and another to live the warrior's life."  

Shak
100.

I'm Inspired By DJ Granny

My friend Alison sent an email to me today that made me SMILE.  It's about a granny changing her mind and becoming a DJ.

The best part about the article was when she talked about young people coming up to her at the Cannes festival where she was a guest DJ.  She said they told her, "'you're awesome, we want to be like you'".  And she told them..."you don't want to be like me. You want to be you."  How wonderful a thing to say.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/france/7368096/69-year-old-British-granny-DJ-conquers-French-party-scene.html

I'm Inspired by the Shepherd

He forgot about the Shepherd...that's me!!!!  The price of being a Shepherd is great burden.

Super Dope Blog...if you're looking to take risks in life, the good kind of course.  http://gapingvoid.com/

I'm Inspired By: The Oscars

Did you guys catch the Oscars? Usually I don’t watch awards shows because honestly, they’re quite boring.

But one thing that stood out was the “Legion of Extraordinary Dancers” performance. WOW! It was a breath taking performance that juxtaposed classical ballet with breaking and pop locking. It’s crazy to see that performance come to fruition. I remember going to school at Brentwood and I would get in trouble at the dances. I was told by the administration that I couldn’t bring anymore of my “outside” friends to the parties. Most of them were Hip Hop dancers, “housers” with backpacks, baggy clothes who performed crazy flips. The message I got was that Hip Hop was neither welcomed in the gym dances or in the “modern” ballet classes. But that was in 93. Even worse was citing rap lyrics on English term papers when comparing Shakespeare or Arthur Miller. My teachers had no frame of reference for the poetry and so they dismissed it. Actually they completely dissed it.

And then there it was…break dancing at the Oscars. It made me want to cry. Hip Hop is no longer the language of the edge-dwellers and has gone main stream for some time. But to see it in its infinite grace and beauty at the awards; I was floored. I think we take it for granted. But I remember when it was just something that “those kids” did, including me. But what would the world look like without Hip Hop? Would Obama be president? Think about that for a minute.

Shak
100.

I'm Inspired By: Tyga & The Kids at Jordan High (Watts)

On 2/23/10 I spoke at Jordan High school to a group of 250+ teenage girls. 

I was supposed to speak about Dreams/Success. But what is success? Is there a formula to obtain your dreams? The definition of success in Webster is to obtain a desired goal. Well that’s great but how do I tell these kids HOW to obtain a specific goal? I was told my whole life that success would come from working hard and getting a good education. But my experience has taught me that’s not nearly the case. We all know plenty of hard working folks who are still not exactly as successful as they would like to be. We also know plenty of educated and talented individuals who are very far off from obtaining their goals. Hard work, education and talent are only a part of success but there has to be more. I’m sure the teachers weren’t going to be too happy when I explained that piece. What then do I tell the kids? This kept me up almost the whole night. To top it off, I was speaking to kids who lived off grape St. in the projects, so giving them a pipedream wasn’t going to get it.

I was prepared to speak to classes of 20. However, during the last workshop because of a “logistical problem” (the girls/boys were getting to rowdy to continue to move from class to class); I was placed in the auditorium to speak to over 250 students. Although, one of my main goals in life is to speak to large audiences, I wasn’t prepared for it yesterday. I think we have to be careful of what we want in life, of what goals we set, because when the opp comes we’re often not prepared. I want to personally thank Cira; who sent an email yesterday saying when in doubt tell a story. And that’s exactly what I did.

 I told the story about a young dreamer who was struggling in school like many of them. He hadn’t found school very relevant to what he was preparing to become. That’s the last thing I thought the teachers would want me to discuss, another renegade kid who didn’t like school. But this wasn’t for the teachers it was for the kids. So I began the story.

 “Randomly” I received a call back in early 2005 from my sorority sister in ATL. She wanted me to have lunch with a young rapper from LA and her friend who was the kid’s play uncle. At the time, I was just an intern at Interscope. When I met with them, I told them I had no “pull” to further his career. I only had ideas of what he could do to become better. Over time I became great friends with his uncle and met with the kid’s mom. When he was really messing up in school, I did what any friend/mentor would do. I talked to him about the importance of education, and I brought in two other friends to help “guide” him. At one point his mother was so fed up with his performance in school that she told us she was out of options and was ready to ship him off to live with his uncle permanently.



But he was different that the other kids I had mentored and tutored. He had a definite goal/purpose in mind. And all his actions; and all his pursuits were in line with that goal. If he found someone who could help move him a step towards that goal, he seized the opportunity with 100% dedication. Hell, I was green in the music industry, how could I help him become a “rapper”? I wasn’t a rapper; I was just a young enthusiast of Hip-Hop who happened to think people could reach their dreams. Not knowing much, I invited him over to write to several beats given to me by my friends. Now these beats weren’t famous producers, but I told them that they were going to be huge one day. And he believed me, silly kid.

 Telling the story, I realized that’s one of the truths that is often overlooked. We don’t become anything in life, we are who we are or we aren’t. People think their environment affects them but it’s the other way around, we affect our environment. And the kid came over to my house, and grabbed a pen and paper and just started writing to my friend, Dame Taylor’s beats. He acted like he was in a real studio. I told him that one day I would have an in-house studio but at the time it was just a room with bare walls. About a year later, Dame would become my roommate and he would turn that room into a real studio and create a beat there that he later sold to G-Unit… but I digress. I told the kids, maybe there is power in pretending; don’t let anyone or any adult tell you different. I’m interrupted by one of the girls in the audience. “Was he as good as Lil Wayne”? I told her, “His talent as a rapper was about average, but I remember telling the kid that he reminded me of Lil Wayne”. In fact, Lil Wayne was his source of inspiration.


By late 2005, a group of us were creating a reality show pilot with school age kid rappers and skateboarders. It seemed like a cool concept. 2 years earlier I had met Stevie Williams via a friend who was also an inner city skateboarder. I thought, well, why not throw the kid rapper into the project…it would give him another chance to compete. Of course this wasn’t sponsored by MTV; it was just 3 chicks producing it. Just like I had never been a rapper, I mos def was never a reality show producer. But we were just having fun…pretending, dreaming. It still amazes me to see so many young urban kids riding skateboards in the city 5 years later; I don’t remember seeing any of them back then. Another girl yelled out, “But this kid had an opportunity. We don’t have any opportunities in Watts.” And I told her, “then you guys have no choice but to create them”. I asked them, how many of you skate board? About 20% of hands went up. I started smiling. And said, “Sometimes you have to create and imagine what you want to see around you”. Last time I came to Watts there were no skaters.


The kid lost the battle on our pilot show. And a year later, I saw him in the Fox Hills mall with an entourage. He told me he was on tour with the group Gym Class Heroes. He had met Travis in a sneaker store on Melrose. Long story short the two became friends and the kid bugged him until he got an opportunity to perform. He later got signed to their label. If he would have quit after not “winning” that one opportunity the story would be over. But there’s more. Today, ironically, he’s signed to Lil Wayne’s label. And has a song/video out with the young money crew right now, it’s in heavy rotation on the radio. It’s called “Bedrock”. Tyga is one of the featured rappers.


I told the kids that Tyga’s story wasn’t about becoming rich and famous. It was about a kid who had “unwavering faith”, determination and talent. But after witnessing many talents in Los Angles, I’m convinced that finding a person with belief is much rarer than finding talent. I remember our ride home together when he lost the battle. He asked me, “Shak, yall rigged the competition so I can lose”. And I told him “No, Ras Kass and the other judges thought the other boy was better today”. And he looked at me with total disbelief. And said, “They must not have been listening”. LOL Maybe blind faith is what’s necessary to go to the top. It’s the type that is childlike (sees no limits), imaginative (creating as you go) and totally unreasonable (doesn’t accept defeat).


Shak
100.

Only the Hard...Only the Strong! I'm Inspired By: The Saints

Over the past week, I've been overfilled with so much emotion; I didn't quite know what to write or say. Not only did my favorite team win the grandest of games: The Super Bowl; but my family’s city had the opp to bask in glory. But being a Saint’s fan has been more of a religious experience than anything else. It’s taught me to keep the faith EVEN when the appearance of things and common sense tells me to jump ship. I can remember going to one of the games in the Superdome just 2 years ago and this angry fan yells at me, “You could have blocked that for Brees. Where in the hell is the coverage”? YIKES. The bad part about it,  he was right.



My bro has been a fan for close to 30 years compared to my 20, and man it’s been such a long and defeating road. I remember when the Saints finally looked like they were going to win the Super Bowl; I glanced over at my brother and his face said it all, he was in a total state of shock. I think it’s like that in life. We get used to things being a certain way weather they’re good or bad. We don’t REALLY anticipate any real change. Sure, we hope for it. We might even talk about it occasionally. Like, “What if the Saints got such and such on the squad”? But it’s like discussing Fantasy football, it’s all in theory, when it’s said and done. Most of us don’t BELIEVE in the possibility because it’s beyond our control. And looking back on the record of the Saints of old, I can’t really blame fans for loosing their patience. But to lose belief is something entirely different.


To believe in them for so long and to finally reap the reward is in itself AWESOME. You see, the SAINTS have never been a “good” team by NFL standards until recently. And, most folks thought they had a fluke, great year Post Katrina. Thinking back on it, there was never a reason to pick the Saints unless you personally wanted to be tortured as a fan. And some folks love being tortured and rooting for the underdog. But the Saints took that routine to another level. It was flat out painful.


I picked the Saints as a kid by default, always looking up to my big brother. It’s bad enough I was sour at the Rams for abandoning my city but to root for the Saints was barely a step in the right direction. Most folks pick teams initially because of 3 reasons: they are born in that city or they’re family is born there, they’re bandwagon-jumpers that follow the winning teams or they follow teams with their favorite players. I picked the first category. And it turned out to be the most gruesome path that tested my fan hood.


Perhaps that’s why the media just couldn’t totally fathom the depth of talent on the Saints squad. I mean putting the two words together: Saints and Winning seemed counterintuitive when discussing the Super Bowl. Poor Brees never got his just due until the very end. Hell, the game against MN had turned into the Favre show and Manning was being hyped as the Poster Boy for the NFL, well that might not change. But isn’t that a metaphor for life? No one believes until you demonstrate it. But then that begs the question: How did the Saints learn to believe when the NFL and media didn’t’?


I would like to give a personal thanks to Sean Peyton for Lead Inspirer. But most of all, thanks to all the diehard, crazy Saint’s fans who believed when no one else did.


I see yall!  Who Dat! Who Dat!
Shak
100.

Scarcity or Abundance?

Photographer: Jaques Slade

"Pawn Shop"

Chess Board

S: 1/10

A: 1.8

FL: 35mm

ISO: 400

I really dig the above photograph for a few reasons...

a) I love chess

b) I love photography and

c) because Jaques shares his camera settings

Now, chess and photography are things that I'm super interested in, in part because I have, by no stretch of the imagination, perfected my skills just yet.  I'm still learning and that's cool with me. 

Regarding the camera settings...it's just dope to me because instead of hoarding how Jaques Slade got to that point so that no one else could match it, he decided to share.  I'm sure it's partially to remember his own growth but to also give his knowledge away.  That's a large part of the reason Dies and I decided to start this site because the information we were trying to get we couldn't find ANYWHERE.... Well at least not in one place.  We're talking scouring the world wide web, magazines and picking at bits and pieces from random conversations.  We wanted to know..."How do you sustain a winning life?"  "How do you get to actualizing your dreams?"  I mean, you read the articles and see the shows on how someone got there after they've already done it but what about the PROCESS?  That's the key.  Think: Life/Happiness/Success is not a destination, it's a journey.  So, we want to share our process and that of other grinders we come into contact with along the way.  We wanted to build a home for grinders and dreamers.  A place where..."everyone knows your name" lol...ok, maybe not Cheers but, a place where other people like us from anywhere could tap into and see themselves..right. now.  Because life is about right now.  What I'm doing right now to be more.  So, I share what I've learned in hopes that it helps and that I'll get the next piece of my puzzle through this self discovery.  Already, I've "met" so many people who are incredibly fresh (what up 365ers?!) and I never would've had the opportunity if I'd subscribed to the scarcity mentality.

Scarcity (think: greed, hoarding, being withdrawn, etc) begets more of itself.  What I know for sure is that scarcity is:

a) something learned and

b) something that will not allow me to become my very best self.

I truly believe in abundance.  I know that my thoughts are my own, just as my vision is, as well.  I have something incredible to share on so many different levels and when I continue to open myself up to experiencing life abundantly that's precisely what I'll get in return.  It's pretty a-ma-zing and it's quite simple.  The difficulty resides in remembering to remember it when people who love me tell me to "be wary of...."  I must be wise, learn from my mistakes, of course, but I don't have to guard myself from anyone.  I'm here to help you and you are here to help me.  So, thank you so much in advance!  Preeesh!  hahahaha

100.

Bright

I'm Inspired By: New Years Resolution-ish

This year I’ve decided to part ways with my ol’ pal, a real gentleman.  That’s right, no more Jack Daniels #7. It’s really nothing personal against him. I’ve had so many good times; I can’t begin to recall all of them. But every good thing comes to an end right? Or perhaps it comes to a stopping point, only to rediscovered later. That’s how life is…ebbs and flows.


Bottom line: Shak ain’t drinking no more. And no I didn’t come to a religious understanding about the subject. Nor did anyone tell me about my personal health demise from abusing it. I made the decision to stop based on a cost/benefit analysis. I want to be a great runner. I want to be in the best shape in my life. I want to be able to perform in front of crowds with explosive, contagious energy.


I can not accomplish this and be a DRINKER. That’s it, it’s really that simple. I just made a decision. And I could write a blog about how important and how powerful it is to make decisions BUT that’s not what this particular blog is about kids.


This is about how people will react when YOU decide to make a decision about YOU. Come again? That’s right, when you get ready to make up your mind to do things a bit differently, you can expect a bunch of folks to start acting crazy based on a decision you’ve made about yourself. Case in point: I stopped drinking but I didn’t stop partying. As a result, the last 4 outings I’ve been to, I’ve heard at least one of my friends get real “pissy” about me not drinking. One chick said, “No, I can’t believe you’re not going to take at least one shot. This is ridiculous! You’re at least taking one shot”. Am I? Really? It seems so trivial until it happens at every event you attend.


Ever wonder why your friends/fam-bam get so upset at you for changing? It’s because we are all MIRRORS. When ever you change a pattern or behavior that’s incredibly consistent with who you are; it challenges what people think about you in the first place. But more importantly, it challenges what they think about themselves.

Shak
100.

I'm Inspired By: 365ers

Photographer: Tony Price

Gotta love technology.  Thursday, the homie, Yohance, tweets, "ART, 365 days of it. http://www.365ers.com/"  The name alone is the hook.  I go to the site and check it out.  It is, in a word, "fresh."

Their motto:

"Every year, we all make resolutions of some sort and end up breaking them at some point. So instead of making a resolution, we all decided to document our growth over the year through photos, video, audio clips, or simple words. This is our story ART...ONCE A DAY...EVERYDAY"

The 365ers are a collection of 10 artists and you get an opportunity to see a myriad of visions and thoughts.  For instance...

"This week has taught me that excuses will just lead me to a non-life where I don't really do anything or truly live."

-Sui Solitaire reflecting on her lack of shooting this week because of rain

Woooow!  That's real.  When I honestly sit down and look at myself, being a "non-liver" = certain death.  Everyday I have to make a succession of decisions that keep me on the "liver" path or else life just just ends up being something that happens to me.

What's so dope about this site is that like us, they've decided to chronicle their individual growth along their ascension.  It made me take a sec to think about what I do everyday.  What I do and "don't have time for."  The mind tells the body what to do, right?  Can't I create something EVERYDAY?  When I initially thought about it, I found trouble in that sometimes I feel like I have to "tap" into my creativity, kinda like turning on and off a light switch, because of work stuff.  I am soooo tired after these 18-20 hour days (remeber 3:30a? lol).  But that just sounds like an excuse to me because we make time for what we want don't we?  Granted, often times it feels like there aren't enough hours in a day but I have to make it work...somehow..someway.  How else will I "be the change [I] wish to see"?  Then, it occurred to me...the fact that my "work" consists of creative problem solving ("so, we need to come up with a plan to recapture the elephant in case it escapes." real talk but, more on that another time. lol).  My creativity is a large part of me, I don't have to outsource it.  As long as I'm diligent, I'm golden...I will make it happen.

100.

Bright
aka
Liver

p.s.  thanks Tony for letting me use your piece :)

Don't Worry, Be Happy...Doo do do doodoo doodoo :)

My belief #268: Clemies are definitely purely made of smiles

What gives me chills up my spine?  What makes me cry tears of joy?  Beauty.  When I think of beauty, I think of beautiful spirits...art...and determination.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm starting to realize that happiness is as well.  We are taught that happiness fits into a box or is intangible by most but I believe that it's in everything all day long.  I pray every morning and evening that I am able to see and experience how wonderful my life is moment by moment.  What I am learning is that gratitude is a major component of that happiness..that beauty.

Never compare your best or worst days to someone else's.  Why?  Because it just never compares.  We all have our struggles and when we try to do a side by side the scale always tips someone's way.  Who am I to say that my accomplishment of running without wanting to just stop already every 5 seconds isn't as dope as someone who's run their 19th marathon?  I always try to focus on the good even when it seems like it all sucks.  My motto#472 (yeah I've got like a trillion) is that "it's gonna work out because it has to."  That's it.  I am hopeful and thankful.  A friend was sleeping in her car and I could provide a place to shower and sleep for the evening.  I was so appreciative that I could help.  I've slept on couches before and this chick was just on her grind.  She hadn't given up at all.  She reminded me to be thankful I could be there for someone I didn't know that well.  I'm learning new things to be thankful for everyday.

Some stuff I am appreciative for in no particular order:

My homie, "Fat Steve", is in remission 
I love Clementines, and I like to call them "Clemies"
My sister
The rain when it comes every now and again in LA
Hot tea 
NetFlix
Faith in my practice 
My existence
Movies = my life
Love
Green
Blue
Music = soundtrack of my life
My mom
The amazing way that eyes work (think about it...you can focus on something close or far away just by thinking it, even if you don't realize you are)
Friends (every last one I've ever had and will ever have)
Passion
Celeste
Having my apartment
Daddy-o
Uncle Lo
My bed
LAUGHTER
Wine
Getting paid to eat sushi for dinner tonight (awesome!)
Learning to run
FreeStyles!
Missy Hardesty
Inspiration (because it's everywhere) 

Gratitude allows me to appreciate this grind.  To see all the people I can learn from and all the people I can help along the way.  It allows me to be inspired and not block out the inspiration because I'm waiting for something else to come along to make this very moment better.

Gratitude=Happiness

100.

Bright

I'm Inspired By: Gnarls Barkley

Can’t stop all these stories from being told
U crazy?
I want to unfold…evolve
I'm tyring to solve
sh** that ain’t been done
Since nothing is new
I’ll find it under the sun
Never run from
go towards
Keep rollin gotta get the rewards
U can keep the applause
Always movin never a pause
Well maybe for a minute
Jack & coke n’ it,
Livin it up…then feelin sick with it
I’m slippin
Swayin from my vision
Thank god she sewed me up
Made a lasting incision
In my heart
So when I stray
I’m still on a mission
Can’t get lost
God knows
I’ve made wrong decisions
I’m the come back kid
Tightly swingin
in the last inning

Shakira

100.

I'm Inspired By: Kids Doing Their Own Thing

This reminds me of one of my fav SNL skits "Baby Toupee"...

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/baby-toupee/27129/

I'm Inspired By: The Grind

I realize for the artist and for the creator, it’s not the final destination where the payoff resides. It’s in the pursuit…it’s in the grind itself. That’s where the inspiration is, that’s where the beauty lives.

It came to me after reading this blog by a down-to-earth casting director, Bonnie Gillespie. She’s one of the good guys, telling actors to pursue their dreams despite the objections and fierce competition. Similar to her, I find it very comforting to encourage others to follow their dreams. Oddly enough, I find it very difficult to push myself. I’m still fighting myself daily to except the call of being both artist and entrepreneur. Because the real is that it’s the actual being up on stage that feels like a million dollars to me. It’s writing this piece that feels like bliss. It’s analyzing a character and making her real that feels AMAZING. It’s the becoming, the molding and the figuring-out of what it is to be really human that is the life of an artist. To bring that sincerity and utmost level of honesty to a story, a movie, a sculpture, a business deal…to stay true to his/her GRIND. Ahhh but what about those illusive, tangible results? How are you a business man without a tangible, money-making, business?

The majority of the world gets into things when there is a clear end in mind. If you want to become a teacher, there is a coherent system in place to become a teacher. It’s the same for doctors, lawyers and even pro-athletes sort of speak. Play ball, practice, train hard and perhaps you will be given an opportunity to play pro. 2+2=4. But what about the kid who wants to share his new vision with the world? Little Billy wants to invent the Space Mobile. Sorry kid no road maps, only mentors that have left hints behind for the same path you want to create. Why? Umm because it doesn’t exist quite yet, well not in the “real” world.

It’s like when I run; I gotta know where the finish line is. But as artists, as entrepreneurs, as people traveling along paths without a clear end; we have to fall in love with the run itself. It’s like getting in a car and being told to drive. Well where and the hell am I going? What if I run out of gas before I get there? All the other cars have tangible road maps, where is mine? What if I’m not fast enough? I’m an older model, I’m already at a disadvantage; will my tires last? But there is a final destination. It resides in our hearts and minds. We can see it even if no one else can.

This is the life of the edge dwellers, the rebels, the creators of a new path, the trouble-makers, the taste makers, the trend setters, the originators, the outcast, the weirdoes, the crazies, the inventors. This blog is home for them. We want more from this world, this space and this lifetime. It’s the questions that drive us to become more. Why doesn’t this exist? Why haven’t people tried this? What about this? Why haven’t people heard this story? And we know the answer is…No one has done this before, why can’t it be me.

Don’t stop asking the questions. We need them. We need you to find the answers. Grind AWAY!

Shak
100.

I'm Inspired By: Cecy Galvan

I remember the first time I met Cecy at a friends house.  She'd just flown in from NY and was exhausted.  Now, Cecy is petite with a swag on about a hundred thousand trillion.  Because of my experience in the commercial industry, I assumed she was a stylist or makeup artist.  They all have that certain jene si quoi...fly makeup and boots, etc.  Wrong.  She's a Publicist and had just finished putting together a photo shoot with all of the Wayans', 1st and 2nd generation, to promote their (at the time) upcoming movie "Dance Flick".  Cecy hails from San Jose, CA and has been here for 9 years.  She's a super grinder and went through the struggle that we all go through.  She started out at one company, helped to build up that company only to not get her just due and was treated like she was expendable.  The difference, you may notice a common theme here, is she decided to continue to press on.  She didn't take the slight sitting down or give up.  She continued to build up her relationships with clients that she devoted energy to when no one really believed in them and gave them her all even though she was getting paid pennies...at best.  When she left the company, one by one, all of the talent she helped build a name and fan base for, followed her...all the way to her own public relations company.

The real is this, when you put in the maximum effort, you give "100." someone will notice.  Someone will see that your gift and work ethic is something they cannot do without.  The talent Cecy was helping could see easily that she truly cared about their success and wanted the best for them.  She didn't go about it in a shady manner.  She kept her nose down and kept grinding with the faith that her passion and drive and determination would bear fruit.  When it did.....she didn't have to wait years to become a senior PR or possible partner of another firm.  She made her way by herself, started her own firm and continues to break boundaries and barriers.  She makes herself, at all of 5ft, a force to be reckoned with through tenacity, creativity, a love for what she does and a vision that she sees through to the end.  Cecy is definitely a grind star, she's probably right now moving on no sleep but doesn't complain a bit.  She's doing what she loves and best of all, like Frankie says, "My Way".


100.

Bright

p.s. check out Cecy Galvan via www.bleuentertainmentpr.com