A Grand Adventure or Nada!!!

I finished the documentary on Tyga the rapper.  It took about 2 months.  And a handful of people were allowed to see the finished goods.  But in the process of creating it, I decided that I didn't want to release it.  The film quality was excellent and the editor did an amazing job with the piece.  But towards the end of the process I became more troubled.  I realized that you can't separate the messenger from the message.  I decided I didn't want to release a doc to high school kids that puts this rapper on a pedestal of a role model.  I'm sure like all of us, he's a mix bag of great, admirable qualities and horrible elements, he's human.  But I'm not sure he would even be comfortable with the notion of "role model".  Soooo I canned the project and that was painful. A part of me still wants to release it because it demonstrates the price of one person becoming FEARLESS.  It shows a young kid in a classroom giving everything to his craft, having setbacks and years later, persevering. And I wanted kids to see an example of someone who worked through his FEAR, and what is possible for them.  But what has he done with his fearlessness? Is he raising awareness for a cause?  Is he teaching young boys from the hood his path to entrepreneurship?  Isn't that MORE IMPORTANT than overcoming fear itself?  What will we become on our hero's adventure? But I am severely biased.  I want too much from my students.  And he is still young and has plenty of time to decide his path GRRRRRRRRRRR!

Ah the hypocrisy of being a teacher.  We want what we want from our students.  But great teachers know that we teach students to think independently even if it pains us.  I am also slanted of course in my judgement of Tyga.  I've been called a light worker, an idealist, a martyr, an underdog, and an outlier.  I suspect all of those are somewhat fitting. It is not enough to be courageous to me.  One has to do something to leave this Earth a bit better.  And who am I to judge perhaps?  Even those who do harm in one area (degrading women on videos), many times do good in other areas (donate money to schools). 
Overall, this project made me realize what I cared about the most: Helping to raise people's awareness. And getting rid of everything this year has left me with who I am.  It's been a scary and thrilling ride. I like to call this period in my life "reconstruction".  After all, we are the builders and destroyers of our own path.  We determine how high and distinctly beautiful or appalling the structure.  This may be a big shocker to some.  Many people still believe that life is about blowing in the wind without a rudder or purpose.  This couldn't be further from the truth.  And yet, the secret is YOU determine that purpose.  You decide what it will be and if you are willing to pay the price for what you want out of this life which takes a nice helping of COURAGE.
   
Hellen Keller said, "...Life is a grand adventure or nothing at all."  I couldn't agree more.  Since leaving my stable, well-paid corporate gig, I have finished the documentary that I didn't release, lol.  I have acted in 2 other film projects that I co-wrote one involving filming on the 405 freeway, so much fun.  Annnnd I'm finally finishing a book about FEAR and how it destroys lives.   Lastly, I'm applying to a teaching residency for a charter school program.  Oh and I became a part of SAG, the official union for actors, blah, blah.  I used to think there was a blueprint for success.  In fact our logo was based around this notion.  But what I realize now is that success is about doing what you want to do and being who you want to be.  And for me that entails raising the awareness of others in society.  I'm happy.  And I thank the Universe, God, Allah, Jesus, Buddha and anyone I may have missed for allowing such a grand adventure at such a young age.  Encore!!

P.S. Check out this article by Steve Pavlina.  http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/courage-to-live-consciously.htm

Shak
100. 

She's Got That Sparkle!!



I was talking to my pops as I normally do on a fine Saturday morning, and I told him about how I became familiar with those who live life with PASSION.  And I tried honestly to find a word that completely describes these types of folks but couldn't find any word that quite captures the essence.  I will refer to them as Passionistas.

How does a person become a Passionista?  The answer is I don't know completely.  I do know however, when I was first introduced to the underground society ANNND when I first pledged.

I remember the first time I met someone whose energy was completely on fire.  That's really the only way I could describe her.  She was my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Dorn.  She had to be in her late forties at the time which is clearly grandma territory to a kid.  BUT she didn't look a day over 27 with her flamboyant, ultra bright colored dresses and screaming red lipstick.  She wore high heels and pranced around the room like a character straight out of Disney.  I remember begging my mother to get to school extra early just so I could wait for her presence.  I was hypnotized.  Only her title disclosed she was a teacher but I always thought she wasn't from this world.  It was very obvious to me that she possessed "other abilities" like knowing the inner workings of magic potions and spells.  School just couldn't come soon enough, because deep within the walls of the classroom I was learning the framework of the hidden arts.  This was the first time in life where I think I worked around the clock for someone just because I couldn't help but do so.  I would clean, sweep, organize...anything to be in the midst of the "great one". 

It was there I wrote my first lines of poetry while listening to classical music.  I would use 10 different colors of glitter to design the cover for my very first novel.  I also learned about the heroic adventures of Perseus and the wonderful characters that dwell within Greek Mythology.  Who was she really?   I always thought I would find an answer.  But you see at this time in my life, I didn't have a voice to ask.  I mean sure I was a writer.  Words streamed together was my first language.  But I didn't know how to talk.  I would just do my work and turn it in with the rest, never raising a hand or talking out loud in class.  I didn't know my opinion really mattered that much.  And then it happened.  She called on me in class and I got the wrong answer.  I WAS MORTIFIED!

And I remember her words, "Shakira, don't make a mountain out of a molehill".  Well, that sounded great and all but I was totally embarrassed, one by hearing the sound of my own meek voice and two by not knowing what the hell a molehill was?  So she did what any great teacher would do.  She enrolled me in the school wide oratorical contest.  That's right, she picked the MUTE in her class to speak on behalf of the magnet school. And to add insult to injury, she picked a god-awful long poem for me to recite.  It was titled, "What shall I tell my children who are black"?  INTERESTING.  For at this point in time, I knew about as much about Black History as South Park's Cartman knows about etiquette...not much. 

I was supposed to deliver a poem about Black people in front of the whole SCHOOL?  But what if I forget half of it?  What if everyone begins to laugh at me?  What if the kids start asking more questions about my race?  Didn't she know that my mom checked white in order to get me in the magnet?  Everyone and their mom always asked questions about my race but I didn't know what that was. I remember telling the other kids that I was Creole because my parents told me to say that.  But ummmm yeah, in the 4th grade, who knows what that is?  I couldn't explain it.  Maybe I was a completely different species.  Why couldn't my parents have just said I was Black or White or something that all other kids understood.  Let's face it.  The whole situation was a perfect SET UP for a complete disaster. 

I attempted to cry my way out of it for a whole week.  And it was an UTTER FAIL.  This was Mrs. Dorn after all.  The fairy who had decided for better or worse to use her magical powers AGAINST me.  Not only did I feel betrayed but I was completely lost.  How could this be? It was I who served as her right hand apprentice.  Why wouldn't she show me favor?

The day before the contest I remember having my first and only PANIC ATTACK.  Then the thoughts of defeat just came rolling in one by one.  Maybe I could fake my own death or better I could run away or I could...

The morning of the contest I was actually relaxed because I had completely exhausted myself the two weeks before with non-stop crying and pleading.  I decided that the whole thing was one BIG JOKE.  The mute speaking in front of the school.  I think I was on the side of being delusional.  I thought no one would be paying attention.  I'll go up, say a few words, they'll give me a sympathy applause and I'll be on my merry way.  And so I remember taking the stage with a "La-Dee-Da" attitude.  And then it happened...I heard myself for the very first time.

In the midst of the recital, I could actually hear how I sounded and all the tones bounced around the auditorium, the low notes, the high notes and everyone was listening.  The poem itself created the perfect backdrop with its melodic words about heart break and gut wrenching exclusion.  I was just a kid.  But it started to flow because the words felt utterly TRUE.  Why was the beautiful color black demonized?  Why were things that were different criticised?  In my mind I replaced the title with What Shall I Tell the Mute who Doesn't Speak?  I knew that pain far too well...being quiet, being different, and being creative. 

Check out the poem:
http://www.sojournersplace.com/2009/07/what-shall-i-tell-my-children-who-are.html

When the poem was finished.  Crowds of parents, students and teachers all ran to the front of the stage to start asking me questions.  "What is the name of the poem again"?  "Who is the author of that poem"?  "What made you choose this poem?"  All of a sudden the mute was an authority figure on a subject that I hardly knew about a month ahead of time.  It was overwhelming to say the least.  WHO WAS I?  I won first place.  The mute won first place in a speaking contest. 

And just as you expect for a magic fairy to do...Mrs. Dorn gets through the crowd and tells me, "Don't forget this moment".  How could I?  She had conspired against me from the very beginning.  How did she do it?  Maybe she snuck a few drops of her magic potion in my juice when I wasn't looking. :)  And for that I'm eternally grateful.  Sometimes those who are seemingly against us are actually working in our favor.  Next time you are ever so fortunate to meet one of these types, as CRAZY as they may be.  Listen to the Passionistas!  Watch them!  Study them!  It is this secret society who give us the "other advice" on how to become more in this lifetime.  And if you listen long enough you may be lucky enough to hear them whisper your formula for greatness.  Whatever it is, it will equate to "Dare Great & Mighty Things!"

Shak
100.

I'm Inspired By: Education

Happy New Years!!!!

I thought about my resolve to become a better person and to have more faith in pursuing my dreams in 2010. I wondered, why do people wait until the last damn day of the year to create a list of things they need to change?

Why is changing so brutal a task in the first place? I think in part ignorance is bliss, so why change? But my dad would say, "If you think education is expensive, try ignorance". The only problem with learning is that the more you do so, the more you start to challenge all things you've previously learned. And all of a sudden you feel like you don't know too much after all.
Hell, how we view the world in large is based upon what we've been taught. If we're taught that green folks are evil, we'll probably believe it until we meet a green person and learn otherwise. Thank God for experience. But sometimes experience lies, we have one great/bad experience with a green person and generalize about all other green people in the world.

Life is soooooo messy. It's book of rules is so not clear-cut, and often times rules don't apply or can be broken. Fun times! Well then, how can one benefit from real education. First off, in Latin the word education means (Educo) to draw out, lead out, to foster. Basically to extract information that’s already within a person. That’s totally contrary to western education that tries to stuff facts and info into the learner. Think about that for a sec. What if all the answers you need to become a great person lie within you? Hmmmmmm

I think we're moving into a new era in terms of education. A few great minds have just rediscovered that there are several different types of intelligences, perhaps many of them have not even been discovered yet. What does this mean? It means if you're a musical learner and you've been memorizing rote information; you're probably going to be a piss-poor student. And that's when it hit me when I was teaching in the classroom. Beethoven would have sucked at running a 40 yard dash. Einstein would have sucked at freestylin against Jay Z. NO CONTEST! Not now, not neva.

I remember a choir teacher at Morningside telling a student, “Oh wow, I didn’t know you can sing, I never taught you how to read the music.” To me that sentence captures it all. That’s where the majority of educators are right now. While a teacher I tried my best to remain a facilitator not an instructor. Socrates had that method down pact. He only asked the right questions, he only prompted his students to search for the answers. Without critical reasoning, our republic is doomed. Sorry for the dramatics, I'll continue.

What answers are you looking for? What do you need to know in the new year to be more successful? Perhaps it's time to think about WHY you do what you do? Or more importantly, why do you know what you know? Whose rule book are you following? I hope it's your own. I sincerely hope you created it. We borrow from others of course, but in the end, it's our own choices that create our life.

"Nosce Te Ipsum"

"Know Thyself"

Shak

100.