Be More

While conversing with one of my best guy friends last night, the topic of success and figuring out one's passion came up.  "Where do I go?"  "What do I do if I'm better off than other people I know but I still don't feel like I'm at my best?"  Say you're running a race (not that you compete with friends but, here's the analogy...) and you're waaaaay ahead.  So, it's not that people (i.e. your friends) aren't in the race at all, you're just much faster.  Ok, so it's time to run with people faster than you.  Meaning, if the people in your close circle aren't trying to take their lives to a new level ALL of the time, you begin to feel or become complacent.  You won't push your self any harder because you don't really see the need to. You're not learning anything new.  It's not to say that these friends don't serve you well in their friendship, we all just have different paths in life.  

"Put yourself where you see yourself."  

Even if you don't know what career path you're supposed to take just yet because you don't know your passion, put yourself in the place where you want to go have drinks after work, for instance.  These are the people you'll consort with and maybe they can help uncover that path with you just over a conversation about his/her particular view of life.  You'll learn more about you and maybe get an idea of where you want to be. Or maybe you'll have a new "running" partner who'll push you in the right direction and link you with the right person.  No matter what, you've taken a step and that gets you much closer than you were before you began.

100.

Bright

Do you FEEL me?

Now that I'm half way through the performances I can attest that this is by far one of the most exciting endeavors in my life. Performing on stage is all that it is cracked up to be: anxiety-ridden, exhilarating, challenging, and timeless.

I know when I first contemplated acting, I thought that the biggest obstacle would be memorizing lines, and working with the other characters (it is difficult at times). But if you prepare hard, and know your character inside and out something magical happens. It's like the character just shows up and takes over when you hit the stage. At that point, it's not about lines, props, costume or anything technical. All that has been learned the past months is left behind, and the only thing that matters is connecting with the character which in turn helps you to connect with the audience.

We live in a time where folks are so damn HARD CORE, they've lost their ability to reach out, to feel other people around them. In fact, some of us have been taught that the ability to feel is dead weight, it's a weakness that must be obliterated as soon as humanly possible. And yet we all act surprise when we read the headline news story in which it usually goes a lil something like this: "Young boy takes the life of two other students with little to no remorse". And the public's reaction is usually appalled for a moment and then back to biz as usual until the next day.

And that's why artists are Completely necessary. They are the bullhorns sounding off when the public gets too complacent about society's problems. I remember when the Dixie Chicks took a personal stand that almost cost them their career. Sometimes artists go wayyyyyyy overboard to get our attention, sometimes they use Crazy tactics that undermine their original purpose. But they remind all of us of our humanity and how we all have a responsiblity to each other. They make us laugh when we need it most. They make us cry and heal ourselves even if it's only for an hour or two in a theatre or movie.

P.S. Art is subjective, but my goal for every piece of work that I produce is to make the viewer feel something. We got too many Blah folks running around here as it is.

Shak
100.

Re-Acting

Because I don't have cable I look online to get my news.  I'll admit, a lot of times I just bypass certain things.  I don't spend my time reading up on who was killed here and who stole what from whomever there.  It's far too negative and I choose to actively put positivity in my life in a myriad of ways.  If there's a show I'd like to see...netflix or hulu.com takes care of it for me.  That being said I don't feel like I'm missing anything and I've been making much better use of my time.  

Anyhoo, I came across some things about this kid, Derrion Albert in Chicago who was killed and was just saddened beyond belief.  I remember kids in my middle school fighting.  I remembered kids being so cruel and thinking that violence was the only way.  What I saw when I watched the video were angry kids because they were afraid.  Afraid of who they really were becoming because no one had the time or the outlet to tell them that who they were was ok.  They swarmed this poor boy.  The people who were taping were laughing at it initially and even after the fact.  What was truly appalling is that no adult was present that I could see and if so, they didn't step in.  I almost didn't watch the video but am happy that I did because it drove me to react in such a positive way.  Yesterday, my sister invited me to be a part of a youth mentoring program which I signed up for and was accepted today.  Middle and High School are such pivotal points in a child's development.  No matter how strong minded a child can be they still yearn to belong in some way shape or form. There are kids whose parents aren't around or who are but don't have the means (time or $$$) to show them another view of life.  The young woman who interviewed me asked what I wanted to share with the child with whom I am to be placed...I want to show children and anyone else who will listen that dreams are meant to be uncovered, nurtured and fulfilled.  I want to help this child begin to see a more multifaceted picture of himself.  I was initially apprehensive about volunteering because of my schedule varying so much.  I made sure to share this concern (which they mirrored) in the interview.  I jumped in anyway.  They were willing to assist me and I promised to communicate.  The point is that I've started to help.  As Ghandi stated, I will "be the change [I] wish to see."

100.

Bright

"Who Do You Tell Your Stories To?"

Who do you tell your fears?  Your wishes?  The embarrassing crap that you'd soon forget buuuuut someone has to know.  lol  Who do you tell your daydreams?  One of my favorite things in the world is to daydream, seriously.  I trust my daydreams in the hearts of my friends.  A lot of mine are about success like when Oprah interviews us or when a magazine writes an article about us, photoshoots....  Sitting in the director's chair, MY director's chair on MY set.  Smiling and working with the crew and talent.  Of people not thinking that I'm a Director because of my stature and being even more surprised when they realize I'm a beast.  lol (sidebar: I'm so sincere about all of the above. ;) )  

I think daydreaming totally gets a bad rap.  Growing up, adults always make it seem or even say that daydreamers are listless, lazy, unfocused blah blah blah.  I love to daydream and over the past few years have allowed myself to do it more often.  Everyday in fact.  I find my vision has gotten stronger and I know more about myself.  Daydreaming isn't for suckers it's for... da-da-dada-dah... dreamers.  It's for people who change the world and invent stuff.  People who see life differently and want to make it different.  The fact is that daydreaming is actually the breeding ground for innovation, growth and success.  How else do people who are doing their "in the meantime/keep the bills paid" jobs keep sane while they go after their passion in their off time?  The cool thing about it is that when I share my daydreams I get to see them more clearly.  It's easier to put something into action when you can see what IT really is.  Sharing my stories with others helps to fuel my vision and feed my passion.  Through the practice I am able to articulate what I see in my mind's eye more effectively.  I dream amazingly big and I feel bad for people who think that it's too much because somewhere someone told them that daydreaming was for losers and they believed it.

100.

Bright

If You're Even Thinking About It...Don't

Over the last couple of days there's been this recurring concept of "Don't Give Up".  I believe that everything is meant and in stating that, that message was meant for me and for me to share.  I've seen this message in different forms like Jay-Z on "On to the Next One", "can't be scared to fail in the search for perfection".  Regardless of how one may feel about his artistry, Tyler Perry's life story, is something to revere.  He put everything he had into making his vision come to life and no one showed up to the play.  He lost it all, was homeless AND persevered.  It may seem like it's easier to stop, to turn your back on what you dream of, to turn over and hit the snooze.  The consequence?  An emptiness will creep in and cover your heart and turn it against you, like the Alchemist said to the shepherd boy.  Here's the thing, there are a host of obstacles that you will encounter at any moment on any day.  Sometimes I fear those obstacles...fearing that they'll break me, finally.  I have to constantly remember my own courage, because nothing can come that is insurmountable.  My track record stands and I have to occasionally look back at my stats; I always persist no matter what.  I cannot base my worst days against someone else's nor my best.  I've overcome depression so, I "remember to remember" (tm Russell Simmons) that the mere fact that I don't want to die everyday means the world to me, for real.  Financial difficulties come and they go, relationships evaporate and a new one comes around the corner, people may pass away but you'll always have the experiences.  Life is constantly changing, accepting that reminds me to be in the present and in preparation for the future.  I know that I'm making it sound like it's a dire situation and that's because it is.  You are the only one who has your gift and you are the only one who can stop you from sharing that with the world.  Don't. Give. Up.  

p.s. I promise not to either. 

100.

Bright

I'm Inspired By: The Beast Within

The last 3 years have been totally enlightening about me. I’ve studied me inside and out. And in 07 I made one of the greatest discoveries about who I was. That’s crazy, we live with ourselves forever, and we still don’t know much about who we are. Imagine that!

I discovered that since I was little, I was always “raising myself”, and “doing me”. Somehow, someway my mom had decided that I was capable of taking care of myself at a very young age and that in contrast my brothers needed her. No biggie right? That’s dope, I’m so mature that I can take care of myself even at the age of 5. But that’s when it happened…looming somewhere in the dark abyss of my mind, I had created a shadow self.

I had unconsciously developed a serious insecurity. I was left alone. And I couldn’t tell anyone that I was alone, or that I couldn’t handle doing everything by myself because after all, I was the one that was the shinning example for my brothers. But the more I was able to do by myself, the more everyone around me started to think I could do even more by myself. And so it was created…the beast within was formed. A monster that’s part brutal will and perseverance, determined to accomplish and master all in its path; part no excuses, if its up to me, it will be accomplished regardless of the odds; and part no emotions, I will endure the pain and loneliness of walking this solo path. I will feel nothing in order to win. But had I felt nothing? Was the beast within not suffering?

That’s when I first discovered it. It had a serious side affect; the type that would unconsciously unleash itself on those that would be drawn close to me. It needed to keep someone around long enough to know that it wasn’t really alone. AHH HA!

When I first saw that truth in myself, I totally rejected it. Like not me, not the kid. I don’t need anyone! Look what I’ve done! Look what I’ve accomplished! I can do it all alone! But the beast within stopped cooperating with me and started to cry out. It started agonizing about its pain. And as much as I tried to keep it silent, it only screamed louder. It was tired and angry for doing everything alone, it no longer wanted to keep up the charade. It was growing very weary of helping those who weren’t willing to help themselves just so I wouldn’t be alone. And about a year ago, without my permission, it told me it would no longer be silent and sit on the sidelines.

The monster within unleashed itself from my grasp and has been on a mission ever since. When it feels something, it speaks up no matter how hard I try to conceal its true identity. And the beast is brand new. It’s crude around the edges, speaking awkwardly for the first time about its emotions and feelings. Sometimes it roars and speaks recklessly to others demanding that they step up and do their part and to stop relying on me. I believe that one day it will be poised, it will be tamed and the beauty will flow from it; speaking in prose rather than fragments. I will no longer be afraid of it, I will welcome its presence and we’ll become one: transformed into the woman that I’m meant to be.

Until that day, I can’t make any promises. It’s still learning how to speak out, how to lean on others and cooperate. It’s still fumbling its way around, sometimes hurting others with a sharp tongue or literally pushing others to do what they say they will do. But the beast is free and I welcome its new found tyranny because it’s finally freeing Me.

Shak

100.

Motto I Live By

Live life to the fullest; don’t just do things just because.
Create something meaningful in life.
Become passionate about anything/anyone.
Mediocrity is for weenies, do something extraordinary, even if it goes unnoticed.
Try new things.
Laugh often, cry often...don't be afraid to feel.
Be myself even when it seems like the wrong thing to do.
Shine

Shak

100.

Works in Light

Ok, I'm light weight obsessed with light fixtures and blown glass.  Everytime I pass one of those home stores, I'm like a kid.  I cannot for the life of me stop staring.  

Brand Cascade

The stuff that really does it for me are the ones with odd shapes, like Chihuly.  HE is a beast. 

Atlantis Chandelier

 

 

Temple of the Moon

 

I guess there's just something so calming and ethereal about the way light flows through glass.  Kind of how you were enamored by seeing sun shine through a glass windchime that painted little rainbows on your wall...or maybe that was just me.  lol

One of my earlier jobs was as a PA when I moved to LA on an Imogen Heap video, "Hide and Seek".  The director, Joel Peissig, spent a day coordinating the lights with different parts of the song.  I cannot even begin to tell you how many lights were hung and set up all over the stage.  The greatest part was that the elements of this video consisted of simply a fan, Imogen on a six foot high stage, and lights.  When the video was shot, then entire crew just sat and watched in amazment.  Beauty in simplicity. 

Sidebar: click "Hide and Seek" to view the whole video.  She told me this song was about her father getting a new wife and how she felt estranged from him because of that relationship.  She's a dope artist but more on that later.

100.

Bright

Things I love... Pt3 aka MBW

While I was in NY IT finally came.  Sweet!  I'm referring to the above, my 1st Mr. Brainwash(MBW) piece, "Lines Davis".  It's a print he did using hand torn archival paper, hand stained and finished with paint.  Sidebar: Another of my passions is art history.  I love it because of the story you end up finding out behind each piece.  In any case, something that always stuck with me from my art history teacher was that you should only purchase art if it connects with you.  I've been peeping MBW's work for a minute now.  You can find it ALL over LA.  Which is fresh.  I really dig street art.  I feel like it adds another facet to the city's life.  Also, the murals serve to refresh my mind when I drive past different pieces on walls and sides of buildings.  It happens to break up the monotony of being stuck behind a car.  lol  There's a wall up the street from my house that is a frequent canvas by MBW.  I find myself riding by looking specifically to see if he's posted something new.  He started out, actually, as a documentary filmmaker shooting street artists like Obey and Banksy amongst others.  He felt so inspired by them that he began to create his own works.  Super fresh, right?  What a way to pay homage.

What inspires me about MBW is that he has the sarcasm of say a 2000 Warhol type which you see with his pieces like "Kissing" the lines version of the Madonna & Britany MTV kiss.  At the same time he shows you his love of art and artists.    Additionally, MBW is constantly showing his gratitude, I believe, by painting the likes of Jackson Pollack, a lines version of the infamous Mona Lisa, the above in honor of Michael Jackson at his passing and of course my piece, "Lines Davis", to name a few.  He took a popular photo of Miles and did his own recreation.  This piece speaks to me because of the dual passion I see represented.  Miles is in his element, his passion of music and MBW in his of street art.  Whenever I look at the painting is reminds me of how important passion and drive really are on this path I am traversing.  Miles Davis was a groundbreaking musician and inspired 2 of my personal favs, John Coltrane and Herbie Hancock. 

Keeping with that theme, he has a new show coming out in London in December of this year aptly entitled "Icons".  The official print (above) for the show is so dope because within it are "shout outs" to countless artists from Norman Rockwell, to Duchamp (aka R.Mutt as MBW signed the bathtub as a wink to the famous Fountain piece), to Banksy, Picasso, himself and all surrounded by "Chaplin" sitting in the "R.Mutt" tub.   It's as if all of these artists have come by and tagged this scene showing us all forms of art are incredibly important and on the same playing field even though they are different in nature.  Isn't that the point of IT all, though?  Everyone deserves a place, a voice.  We needn't be afraid, "Art is not dead".

100.

Bright

No Do-Overs

A few weeks ago, I had dinner with a friend of mine who I've never known truly before that evening.  We went to high school together but never connected before that dinner although we've lived in LA for the last 6 yrs for her and the last almost 5 for me.  It wasn't meant for us to connect before this time.  I couldn't receive her as she was then and nor she who I was before.  Relationships come and go as they always do and this is something we spoke about at length that night.   Just like a splinter in your finger and sometimes like clothes you wore in your youth things are not to last for forever and always.  Your body naturally pushes out the splinter and you naturally out grow the clothes.  I have no misgivings about friendships that have passed.  It's not to say that I'm some heartless chick that doesn't care about people or treats them as they are expendable, on the contrary, actually.  It's just that as I grow I understand that there is a time and a place for most things.  I don't look forward to the demise and I mourn the passing but I let it go.  You have to.  Appreciate what there was and learn from the experience so you can be more, experience more. THAT'S what life is about.  I cannot wear the same clothes I sported as a youth (not all lol) nor do I desire to do so because I've out grown it all.  No do-overs because at that time I was supposed to experience what was.  It's hard to let go of some people who aren't serving you and vice versa because we're used to that relationship but in order to be what I am fully I have to let go of some baggage such as weight, habits such as a lack of discipline, etc.  When people don't grow to their fullest as we see it, the natural response is to try to pull them along.  But what can happen is you can get caught in the undertow.  You end up resenting them but it is you who is not on your path.  Is it better that they love you and want to spend time with you because you are not living up to your best or to deal with the difficult entanglements of resentments and jealousy on their part because they've taken another path than you think they should have?  The answer is up to each of us but for me, I've had to walk away a few times.  I still think about some people, today even, that i miss for their camaraderie or laughter because I do love it/them but I wouldn't give up who I am today nor who I am becoming for it because it is my destiny.  With all sincerity, if people truly wanted the best for you they would not hate on who you are becoming but yet celebrate it and be inspired by it and rise to meet the challenges you've faced for themselves.

100.

Bright

Fresh Website...The Impossible Cool

My boy hit me with this link yesterday...the vintage pics are AMAZING!

http://theimpossiblecool.tumblr.com/

It reminds me that COOL is being your most unique self. Not the self you want to be, or the self others think you are, but the self that just is.

This dude is one of the coolest...



In a word...Beautiful.

Kanye West & Ralph Waldo Emerson...Am I still Inspired by Ye?

Wow, I logged on to our site this morning and realized the last blog I posted was "I'm Inspired by Kanye West". Interesting how timing has a way of being 'just on time' or 'just at the wrong time'. I thought to myself should I take the blog down considering the ultimate 'dumb-dumb' move he made a few days ago when he decided to yank the mic from a 17 year old country singer? Or do I leave it him up on the blog? After all, I meant exactly what I said in the last blog about him, he inspires me, mainly because he's just being himself for better or for worse.

I think it's times like these when I think about the complexity of human beings and what it truly means to be human. As I prepare to take the stage this week, I realize that my character, Candice, while an upstanding member of her church is clearly not without fault. Her anger and her bitterness at times gets the best of her, and her faith is put to the test. Hell, at some point don't we all do things that we wish we hadn't? Maybe some of us don't ever walk out on a limb, testing what we really do believe...and that's just it. Some of us are content with not living at all, not figuring out for ourselves what is wrong and what is right. Of course the danger of really "living" is that there are things that we will do along the way that we can't come back from doing, that leave a Hester Prynne like mark permanently attached to our reputation.

And while I don't agree with Ye's antics the night of the VMAs (I would have grabbed the mic back), as an actress, he made me painfully aware of the range of free human expression. Most of us are not free to be who we really are for better or worse, we hide behind who we think we should be, what we think society thinks we should be. When I think of Ye, I can't help but think of Emerson who says, "No law can be sacred to me unless it's a law of my nature. Good and bad are but names very readily transferable to that or this; the only right is what is after my constitution, the only wrong is what is against it." DAMN...if that ain't gangsta then what is? The question is what if one's nature is volatile, creative, temperamental and unstable? Well I think we know the answer to that question.

And while I personally would never snatch a mic from a kid at an award's show; I'm not qualified to say what I have and would do that appalls society. I've never liked the crackerjack box-like comfort of being labeled the 'nice' girl. I mean God forbid the day I break that particular mold by doing one thing that shatters that image. When that day comes, I only hope folks realize, there were no drugs, no crazy boys to 'put me up to it', no forms of depression that induced my crazy behavior. The truth is it's already in my nature, always was and always will be.

Shak

100.

What is Reality? I'm Inspired by Kanye West

I love this quote by Margaret Halsey :

"Reality is above all else a variable, and nobody is qualified to say that he or she knows exactly what it is. As a matter of fact, with a firm enough commitment, you can sometimes create a reality which did not exist before".

Word. Folks can say what they wish about rappers, but I'll say this much, they're some of the most prophetic dreamers of our time. Kanye West, who seemingly envisioned his way to the top classifies this experience in his song, "The Last Call" on the College Dropout album.

"You can't say sh** to Kanye West no more
I rocked 20,000 people, I was just on tour, n****

I'm Kan, the Louis Vuitton Don,

Bought my mom a purse, now she Louis Vuitton Mom

I ain't play the hand I was dealt, I changed my cards

I prayed to the skies and I changed my stars

I went to the malls and I balled too hard..."

P.S. Hmmmm really, last time I checked this kid Ye was designing stuff for Louie V., and rocking way more kids on tour than any 20,000. That's it...starting today, I'm B.C.B.G. Shak with the Gucci heeled straps!

Shak

100.

I'm Inspired By: Neil Gaiman...The Doing Is the Hard Part

My friend that’s a writer, Alison Diem, sent me a link yesterday to an author she adores. So I decided to go on his site. There was this super dope essay where the author, Neil Gaiman, talks about how he gets his ideas.

Check it: Where do you get your ideas? by Neil Gaiman (1997)

http://www.neilgaiman.com/p/Cool_Stuff/Essays/Essays_By_Neil

Basically he tells the interviewer that he makes them up from out of his head. And I thought that was fair enough, God only knows the crazy stuff I come up with on a regular. But the great part about the article is his discussion about folks who swear they have the best ideas in the world. In so many words he tells the interviewer that everyone has ideas. What makes a person “the truth” is that she CREATES her ideas by writing them down into a book, a song, a business plan...you get the point.

He said the hardest part is forcing your self to sit, with total discipline and writing word by word. I was relieved to hear his testimony. I know it’s painfully difficult to just DO ANYTHING CONSISTENTLY.

Perhaps that’s the difference b/w doers and dreamers. Being a popular writer has its downside, he said he always gets approached to “collaborate” on idea based projects. Folks tell him they have a great idea and all he has to do is his part, write it into a novel and they can split the rewards 50/50. LOL

P.S. Ideas are friendly lil critters, always skipping along, in endless supply, looking for another engaging conversation with the next guy. Discipline on the other hand, is a temperamental beast that speaks on occasion, big in stature but slow to move, looking to avoid another gig.

Shak

100.

I'm Inspired By: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

An email to a friend...

I think life is a bit like magic and we’re all magicians if we learn to harness our power. Some people see things and then they convince the world that it exists. In that sense nothing is really impossible, even though you’ll have to go through hell to prove it to the world. That’s the main reason why I liked the Alchemist. It wasn’t that he followed a dream job or career that’s already paved.

The Alchemist saw a vision (in a dream) and then he lived his life around that vision. And that’s the key…don’t live your life around how much money you’re going to make from your gig (although we all like money) or don’t think about the good looking girl you’ll get from balling out of control…live that dream because it moves your heart. And I truly believe all that other stuff will follow, but most important, you’ll feel alive for living your dream with passion. Of course what happened from day to day to the Alchemist didn’t obviously look like he was on the right path but he was moving towards his vision the whole time. This is where most of us, especially me, have been stuck, we can’t see how it’s going to unfold next so what do we do? We give up.

There’s this magic people can’t see behind a dream so they dismiss it as being luck driven, impossible or just not in the cards for them. They can’t see the random people who will join them on their mission to help them achieve their wildest dream. A person can’t see the waitress in the café that bumps his arm and spills coffee on his script only to have her reveal later that her father is a major movie director. But once you witness that magic, like once you look back and you see the blueprint for it in front of you, you can never go back to living the same-o-same-o (shak talk). I think when you see it; you learn how to turn rocks into gold like an Alchemist. But unlike the fictional story of the Alchemist, I wish I could tell folks how I know this to be true in real life, like prove it to them. It’s been my goal for ummmmm 8 years now.

Of course some folks think I’m crazy in light of what’s going on in the world and in the economy. How can I be this optimistic about the future when everything seems to be going to hell? But that actually proves my point. Poverty and the spread of disease in the world is created when people stop seeing, when they cease to live out their inner visions. Instead of relying on that inner vision, they rather live out someone else’s nightmare of sorts that doesn’t live up to their true potential, it’s fearful and mediocre at best which creates a world that looks bleak and desperate. In a way I guess it’s scary to know that we are all creators of our lives. Thinking about it can keep me up at night. But then I remember that I have another day to conqueror my fears, I eat some chocolate and realize that I need to RELAX!

Shak

100.

P.S. May you realize all of your dreams Eugene!!!

I'm Inspired By: Man Who Pays Bill with Drawing of a Spider...SO FUNNY!

Ok a friend sent this link to me in 08 but it was SOOOOOOOOOO ridiculously funny, I had to find it and post it. This is what real creativity is all about...well sort of.

http://www.geekologie.com/2008/11/good_idea_man_submits_drawing.php