Vulnerability vs Wounds in a Frame

When we first began this process I thought of myself as more of a behind the scenes kind of player.  Shak really encouraged me to write and share.  Ugh, no way...sharing means being vulnerable, having an expectation placed on me or being judged and I kinda just like to do my own thing...all the time. lol  What vulnerability means to an artist and people in general, I suppose, is the difference between having an opportunity to be understood or none at all.  It's the difference between letting the vision out completely and pulling the punch.  When we put ourselves out there on that stage, on that site, in that relationship we give an opportunity to someone else and to ourselves to be heard.  Without stepping out there it is assured that opportunity will never take place.  Shak said to me last week, "if you never let anyone in how can you really expect to let anything out?"

There are a host of reasons why people don't share who they are or what they think.  It usually surrounds some previous incident where their feelings were hurt/ego bruised/fell on their a$$.  I think we hold on to those embarrassing occurrences thinking that remembering the experience will shield us from ever having to experience that again.  I know I have.  What really happens though is that we lead lives full of never sharing how we really feel, doing what we love, trying something we like for fear of looking stupid or someone using our good nature against us.  And honestly that only creates more of itself.  When I open up and share myself people respond in like kind.  Usually someone is so happy someone, anyone finally said it...what ever that may be.  People are dishonest or withhold info in business because they think that other people will try to cheat them.  What really happens is that people will always respond in like kind.  Holding on to these past experiences and keeping them alive every day remembering and thinking about it instead of letting it heal is like placing a wound inside a frame and posting it on your wall.  Gross right?  Yeah, I think so, too.  No more wounds on the wall.  It's just another part of the drama we create in our daily lives instead of living and loving in the now.  

Vulnerability is truly courage.  Think about it...who gives a shit if someone breaks your heart?  You will meet someone else and the experience was grand wasn't it?  You know why?  You went for it!  Who cares if you fall off stage?  No one else in the audience had the courage to even get up there.  You went for it!  Time out for all of that b.s.  We hold onto things because we know what that pain is like but when you step out into the sun again you feel healed and you don't need to cloak yourself in that misery.  Letting go of the pain doesn't make the experience null and void, it allows you to have new experiences.  And if you bump your head again and think "damn, why am I here, again?"  The reason is because you didn't learn what you needed to so that you could go beyond it...beyond.

100.

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