The Power of Playing Make Believe Exercise Part I.

Yesterday I received a letter from a friend who is like a lil sister to me.  She was writing about being stuck in her current environment.  She said something like, "I don't want to be in the same place as I was last year."  Often times when we feel immobile we look for others to give us words of encouragement to help us counter our inner fears.  Sometimes this works out and other times it feels like a complete DISASTER depending on the responses you receive from your friends.  Advice: (Keep positive folks around and ditch the negative unless their family)  Sorry.

Since all answers lie within, I told her about a simple but powerful exercise that was going to give her more confidence to face her fears.  I've been doing this particular exercise since age two.  LOL  The real is kids always do it but then right about the age of 13-14 it goes bye-bye.  I'm talking about the ability to play MAKE BELIEVE.  Now before I get into the exercise, let me tell you why this is MORE IMPORTANT that writing down a business plan or a list of goals that you want to achieve in life.  I'm assuming most of us want to be successful.  I doubt that we want to stay put and feel stuck.  And I would venture to say that a good majority of us have also written down goals as a means to outline our potential dreams.  Here's the problem with just writing it down.  If you don't believe that you can obtain that goal...IT AIN'T HAPPENING.  I know folks will say well if I think about it, it will come about and blah...blah...blah.  That's not how the creative process works.

First we must see our goals clearly (writing them down does help), then we must believe in them, and then and only then do they begin to take form and start to manifest.  Of course that's the super, simplified version.  What my lil sis was asking about was gaining more belief in herself in order to silence the outsiders, ie. her family.  After all faith is the only cure for fear.  The millionaire dollar question then is: How do you gain more faith?

Well most folks will tell you that if you're not born with it then you're SOL.  I don't think that's the case.  But just like with everything in life, it takes mental discipline and much practice.  In a nutshell, here is the exercise I gave her.  I used this exercise diligently to purchase my first condo without realizing it and used it for my second condo and most recently I used it to start acting with no prior experience.  Folks always ask me how is that I'm able to jump from industry to industry.  Up until now, I was hesitant to tell people for fear of ridicule (adults pretending and playing=crazy in this society).  But here is the truth.  I first see it in mind, then I play make believe, and then I take action.  VOILA!

MAKE BELIEVE: Part I.  (The Senses) 

Why is this effective?  This is for the skeptics out there who always need to know why this and why that...lol I'm one of those people.  The brain does not know the difference b/w what is real and what is pretend.  When you don't know HOW to do something, you have no choice but to pretend it.  Over time, the brain will begin to accept the make believe as REALITY.  This is why pro athletes run the race first in their mind or execute plays while day dreaming.

 The Exercise:

 Part of what makes imagining something feel real is creating the environment of the goal you desire.  The more real it becomes, the more you begin to BELIEVE that you are able to execute what you are imagining.  Pick a quiet space alone and begin, for me this means bubble bath time.

• The first step is to pick a goal.  Let's not get fancy and write 10 goals all at once, especially if you don't use your imagination on a regular basis.  If you are a "realistic type" then start with one goal.  For example:  My goal was simply to start acting on stage. 
• The second step is to create the scene in your mind.  Close your eyes and try to visualize the environment.  What does the place look like?  What does it sound like?  Who is there with you?  What do you have on while you are attempting your goal?  For example:  If your goal is to holler at a girl that doesn't know you are alive; what would you be wearing when you meet her?  The idea is to have FUUUUUUUUUUUUUN with this people.  If you start saying, "Man I would like to have on a Rolex Watch but I can't afford that", you are going in the wrong direction.  For GOODNESS SAKE you are dreaming damn it!  DREAM BIG. 
• Ahem...sorry I get worked up about this stuff.  I can't tell you how many times folks defeat themselves while day-dreaming which translates into perpetuating a lack of confidence in their reality.  This brings me to step three.  PLEASE leave your fears at the door.  You are pretending.  However, pay attention to what that little inner voice is telling you.  If it's constantly worrying you to death about money or women or your family's concerns; it is a major indicator that your predominant thoughts encompass worry.  Worry brings about more fear and fear based people in the forms of friends/co-workers who are going to push against your dreams.
• The fourth step is let go and place your self in medias res.  In Latin that means, "into the middle of affairs".  Your only requirement is to create an IDEAL circumstance.  This means actually acting out, or visualizing the scene as it plays.  This is where that little inner hater voice usually gets his/her way.  For example:  If you are trying to become an actress, you don't want to dream up a situation where you start choking on stage or falling while exiting.  However, this is what we do.  We've been programmed to create less than ideal circumstances for what we really want.  And what happens?  Our brains later tell us that it's too scary or too dangerous.  It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.  Focus on PERFECTION when you play make believe.  If you don't know how to do it, watch kids.  Later on this year, I'm thinking about having a workshop.  I had no idea that adults had lost their ability to play until recently.   Another issue pops up when we are pretending.  We don't like looking silly in front of others.  That's fine, I suggest finding a place where you can pretend alone.  But know this...YOU should begin to believe in what you are doing as you practice over and over again.
• The fifth step is HAVE FUN!  This should feel amazing and fun like you're role playing a totally different person.  You might think, this is silly at first.  I'm never going to gain the courage to talk to that girl I really like.  But the more you rehearse it in your bedroom where no one is looking, the more confident you'll appear when it's no longer a dress rehearsal.  By the time I hit the audition for the first time, I had already done 40 scenes in my mind while soaking in the tub.  As a result I got the opportunity to play the lead.  Be bold and brave with your dreams.  Please do not limit yourself!

P.S. Let me know how playing make believe goes for you!  Good Luck!
Shak
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