She's Got That Sparkle!!



I was talking to my pops as I normally do on a fine Saturday morning, and I told him about how I became familiar with those who live life with PASSION.  And I tried honestly to find a word that completely describes these types of folks but couldn't find any word that quite captures the essence.  I will refer to them as Passionistas.

How does a person become a Passionista?  The answer is I don't know completely.  I do know however, when I was first introduced to the underground society ANNND when I first pledged.

I remember the first time I met someone whose energy was completely on fire.  That's really the only way I could describe her.  She was my 4th grade teacher, Mrs. Dorn.  She had to be in her late forties at the time which is clearly grandma territory to a kid.  BUT she didn't look a day over 27 with her flamboyant, ultra bright colored dresses and screaming red lipstick.  She wore high heels and pranced around the room like a character straight out of Disney.  I remember begging my mother to get to school extra early just so I could wait for her presence.  I was hypnotized.  Only her title disclosed she was a teacher but I always thought she wasn't from this world.  It was very obvious to me that she possessed "other abilities" like knowing the inner workings of magic potions and spells.  School just couldn't come soon enough, because deep within the walls of the classroom I was learning the framework of the hidden arts.  This was the first time in life where I think I worked around the clock for someone just because I couldn't help but do so.  I would clean, sweep, organize...anything to be in the midst of the "great one". 

It was there I wrote my first lines of poetry while listening to classical music.  I would use 10 different colors of glitter to design the cover for my very first novel.  I also learned about the heroic adventures of Perseus and the wonderful characters that dwell within Greek Mythology.  Who was she really?   I always thought I would find an answer.  But you see at this time in my life, I didn't have a voice to ask.  I mean sure I was a writer.  Words streamed together was my first language.  But I didn't know how to talk.  I would just do my work and turn it in with the rest, never raising a hand or talking out loud in class.  I didn't know my opinion really mattered that much.  And then it happened.  She called on me in class and I got the wrong answer.  I WAS MORTIFIED!

And I remember her words, "Shakira, don't make a mountain out of a molehill".  Well, that sounded great and all but I was totally embarrassed, one by hearing the sound of my own meek voice and two by not knowing what the hell a molehill was?  So she did what any great teacher would do.  She enrolled me in the school wide oratorical contest.  That's right, she picked the MUTE in her class to speak on behalf of the magnet school. And to add insult to injury, she picked a god-awful long poem for me to recite.  It was titled, "What shall I tell my children who are black"?  INTERESTING.  For at this point in time, I knew about as much about Black History as South Park's Cartman knows about etiquette...not much. 

I was supposed to deliver a poem about Black people in front of the whole SCHOOL?  But what if I forget half of it?  What if everyone begins to laugh at me?  What if the kids start asking more questions about my race?  Didn't she know that my mom checked white in order to get me in the magnet?  Everyone and their mom always asked questions about my race but I didn't know what that was. I remember telling the other kids that I was Creole because my parents told me to say that.  But ummmm yeah, in the 4th grade, who knows what that is?  I couldn't explain it.  Maybe I was a completely different species.  Why couldn't my parents have just said I was Black or White or something that all other kids understood.  Let's face it.  The whole situation was a perfect SET UP for a complete disaster. 

I attempted to cry my way out of it for a whole week.  And it was an UTTER FAIL.  This was Mrs. Dorn after all.  The fairy who had decided for better or worse to use her magical powers AGAINST me.  Not only did I feel betrayed but I was completely lost.  How could this be? It was I who served as her right hand apprentice.  Why wouldn't she show me favor?

The day before the contest I remember having my first and only PANIC ATTACK.  Then the thoughts of defeat just came rolling in one by one.  Maybe I could fake my own death or better I could run away or I could...

The morning of the contest I was actually relaxed because I had completely exhausted myself the two weeks before with non-stop crying and pleading.  I decided that the whole thing was one BIG JOKE.  The mute speaking in front of the school.  I think I was on the side of being delusional.  I thought no one would be paying attention.  I'll go up, say a few words, they'll give me a sympathy applause and I'll be on my merry way.  And so I remember taking the stage with a "La-Dee-Da" attitude.  And then it happened...I heard myself for the very first time.

In the midst of the recital, I could actually hear how I sounded and all the tones bounced around the auditorium, the low notes, the high notes and everyone was listening.  The poem itself created the perfect backdrop with its melodic words about heart break and gut wrenching exclusion.  I was just a kid.  But it started to flow because the words felt utterly TRUE.  Why was the beautiful color black demonized?  Why were things that were different criticised?  In my mind I replaced the title with What Shall I Tell the Mute who Doesn't Speak?  I knew that pain far too well...being quiet, being different, and being creative. 

Check out the poem:
http://www.sojournersplace.com/2009/07/what-shall-i-tell-my-children-who-are.html

When the poem was finished.  Crowds of parents, students and teachers all ran to the front of the stage to start asking me questions.  "What is the name of the poem again"?  "Who is the author of that poem"?  "What made you choose this poem?"  All of a sudden the mute was an authority figure on a subject that I hardly knew about a month ahead of time.  It was overwhelming to say the least.  WHO WAS I?  I won first place.  The mute won first place in a speaking contest. 

And just as you expect for a magic fairy to do...Mrs. Dorn gets through the crowd and tells me, "Don't forget this moment".  How could I?  She had conspired against me from the very beginning.  How did she do it?  Maybe she snuck a few drops of her magic potion in my juice when I wasn't looking. :)  And for that I'm eternally grateful.  Sometimes those who are seemingly against us are actually working in our favor.  Next time you are ever so fortunate to meet one of these types, as CRAZY as they may be.  Listen to the Passionistas!  Watch them!  Study them!  It is this secret society who give us the "other advice" on how to become more in this lifetime.  And if you listen long enough you may be lucky enough to hear them whisper your formula for greatness.  Whatever it is, it will equate to "Dare Great & Mighty Things!"

Shak
100.

Be More

While conversing with one of my best guy friends last night, the topic of success and figuring out one's passion came up.  "Where do I go?"  "What do I do if I'm better off than other people I know but I still don't feel like I'm at my best?"  Say you're running a race (not that you compete with friends but, here's the analogy...) and you're waaaaay ahead.  So, it's not that people (i.e. your friends) aren't in the race at all, you're just much faster.  Ok, so it's time to run with people faster than you.  Meaning, if the people in your close circle aren't trying to take their lives to a new level ALL of the time, you begin to feel or become complacent.  You won't push your self any harder because you don't really see the need to. You're not learning anything new.  It's not to say that these friends don't serve you well in their friendship, we all just have different paths in life.  

"Put yourself where you see yourself."  

Even if you don't know what career path you're supposed to take just yet because you don't know your passion, put yourself in the place where you want to go have drinks after work, for instance.  These are the people you'll consort with and maybe they can help uncover that path with you just over a conversation about his/her particular view of life.  You'll learn more about you and maybe get an idea of where you want to be. Or maybe you'll have a new "running" partner who'll push you in the right direction and link you with the right person.  No matter what, you've taken a step and that gets you much closer than you were before you began.

100.

Bright

Things I love... Pt3 aka MBW

While I was in NY IT finally came.  Sweet!  I'm referring to the above, my 1st Mr. Brainwash(MBW) piece, "Lines Davis".  It's a print he did using hand torn archival paper, hand stained and finished with paint.  Sidebar: Another of my passions is art history.  I love it because of the story you end up finding out behind each piece.  In any case, something that always stuck with me from my art history teacher was that you should only purchase art if it connects with you.  I've been peeping MBW's work for a minute now.  You can find it ALL over LA.  Which is fresh.  I really dig street art.  I feel like it adds another facet to the city's life.  Also, the murals serve to refresh my mind when I drive past different pieces on walls and sides of buildings.  It happens to break up the monotony of being stuck behind a car.  lol  There's a wall up the street from my house that is a frequent canvas by MBW.  I find myself riding by looking specifically to see if he's posted something new.  He started out, actually, as a documentary filmmaker shooting street artists like Obey and Banksy amongst others.  He felt so inspired by them that he began to create his own works.  Super fresh, right?  What a way to pay homage.

What inspires me about MBW is that he has the sarcasm of say a 2000 Warhol type which you see with his pieces like "Kissing" the lines version of the Madonna & Britany MTV kiss.  At the same time he shows you his love of art and artists.    Additionally, MBW is constantly showing his gratitude, I believe, by painting the likes of Jackson Pollack, a lines version of the infamous Mona Lisa, the above in honor of Michael Jackson at his passing and of course my piece, "Lines Davis", to name a few.  He took a popular photo of Miles and did his own recreation.  This piece speaks to me because of the dual passion I see represented.  Miles is in his element, his passion of music and MBW in his of street art.  Whenever I look at the painting is reminds me of how important passion and drive really are on this path I am traversing.  Miles Davis was a groundbreaking musician and inspired 2 of my personal favs, John Coltrane and Herbie Hancock. 

Keeping with that theme, he has a new show coming out in London in December of this year aptly entitled "Icons".  The official print (above) for the show is so dope because within it are "shout outs" to countless artists from Norman Rockwell, to Duchamp (aka R.Mutt as MBW signed the bathtub as a wink to the famous Fountain piece), to Banksy, Picasso, himself and all surrounded by "Chaplin" sitting in the "R.Mutt" tub.   It's as if all of these artists have come by and tagged this scene showing us all forms of art are incredibly important and on the same playing field even though they are different in nature.  Isn't that the point of IT all, though?  Everyone deserves a place, a voice.  We needn't be afraid, "Art is not dead".

100.

Bright

Brilliance

I spoke with a friend the other day who is about to graduate from school regarding he plans for the future. THE FUTURE. She was thinking of spending a few years becoming acclimated with her back up plan and then going after her third choice of attending law school and only after completing that trying her hand at her true passion of becoming a journalist for a magazine. I asked why and she responded that it seemed like the most responsible thing to do. She could begin to get income in arenas where there was a route already laid before, it was all very a + b = c. Her passion’s route was a bit more vague or hazy in what the actual starting point would be or when exactly she would begin to gain fruit from her labor. Here’s the thing, she’s in her early 20’s with every possibility at her fingertips. She has the time and the energy to go after her passion, not now but right now. She can sustain a few bumps and bruises along the way in the vein of a learning curve with little to no long term impact; no mortgage, no husband, no kids. Why wouldn’t now be the most opportune time?

It reminded me of the convo Shak and I had earlier this week. She asked me if I felt I had more trouble with my vision or faith in my vision. I thought about it for a sec, “my faith”, I said. She thought it was the same and wondered why and what I thought that was holding me back. I think it’s that I worry that people won’t understand the stories I’m trying to tell. What if they don’t get it? She told me I was worrying about the “how” and that was basically futile. Then she asked me if there were any projects I had that I was really connected to.

I said, "Yeah, but I have to make my visions fit my means. I don't have the $$$ to produce those works." "Once again," she said, "you're worried about the wrong thing. Write the scripts and the $, equipment, and the WAY will present itself."

Geez, even after writing it again I feel so silly. I spend time visualizing, intending, being in my head where I see myself. Having the gratitude for attaining all of that I envision but my faith still sucks and I had no idea. I moved out here with pure certainty that things would be fine. There was no, and there still isn't, expiration date for attaining and accomplishing all. I'm afraid of what..I'm not sure. But that fear definitely exists because if it didn't my faith would be stronger. After telling Shak of the script that was the first story I knew through and through pretty much, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I even came up with another plot point. Dope. "Leaps of Faith" is on my vision board and I feel like I haven't taken one in a while. Faith is the belief in the unknown, it's coming to the ledge and believeing you'll sprout wings on the way down. hahahaha It's real, though. "A risk worth taking" is also on my board. Great risk only produces great results. These things I know in my head, they add up. My heart on the other hand is pounding inside of my chest. I know the greatness within continues to seep out and soon it will completely engulf me even as i traverse new heights. You cannot unring a bell, as the saying goes. You cannot profess to be great, be great and then decide wholeheartedly to be mediocre. It just doesn't work like that. To do that means certain death of your spirit. The thing about it is that certain way, that is who you now are. Really, it's just being who you were the whole time anyway. Are you afraid of your own brilliance?

100.

Bright

The Night the Cops Tried to Jack Me for Inspiration

photography: Jewel K. Estephanos

Today we had our first sit down to offically begin the launch of this site. Things have begun to get a bit strange with all of the coincidences. Whenever we're together it seems that every single thing we speak of comes into existence almost instantaneously or we’re somewhere where someone knows one of us…it’s very Celestine Prophecy-ish. I guess I’ll start at the end, I always like stories that start that way :)

We go to Starbucks for the second time today and see the same group of older gentlemen sitting at the table in the middle and Shak even remarks on it…”Kinda déjà vu-ish, right?” We order the same drinks as before we walk out I look across the street to see what new art Mr. Brainwash, a new-ish Pop Artist think Andy Warhol circa ’08 but in his (Mr. Brainwash’s) own right, has put up. It’s so right on, of course, I have to point it out. As we get to the car Shak asks if I brought a camera and I “just so happened” to have mine in my purse. We decide that I’ll take a picture and post it on the site. I get out of the car and try to find the best vantage point for the shot because it’s dark outside and I don’t want to get hit but I’ve gotta get the shot. As I’m positioning myself in the middle of the yellow lined area on the edge of the lane for traffic a police car pulls up next to me and the officer asks, rather nicely, “What are you talking a picture of?” I simply respond that I’m taking a picture of the art work because we’re starting a company and wanted to put it on our website. He asked what the website was about, and I said that it was about empowering people through inspiration to go after their passions and follow their dreams. And so, seeing the sign from across the street was like God (the universe) talking to us as we were just taking a break from our session. He wanted to know the name of the website and I told him that we hadn’t posted it yet and that’s what we were in the process of creating. He said ok and I told the officers to have a great evening. I took a couple more shots and as soon as I got back into the car the officer had turned around and pulled up right next to us and said he wanted to know if he could get the website info and Shak said that it wouldn’t be up for another two weeks. He said, “Well, how can I find it later,” and I asked if he had a business card. He said, “With my email address?” And we said, “Yep.” As he was writing his info on the card we introduced ourselves to him and the officer that was accompanying him. He gave Shak the card and asked how we met. I said that I was the “brains of the operation.” Lol Then I said that it actually started from an idea by Shak. She expounded that it was something she’d been thinking about for about 10 years. She then said that she picked me because I was one of her most artistic friends. We wished them well and they drove away. After words we looked at each other like “What the f*@k?! Did that really just happen? Did a police officer just come over and try to get that inspiration up outta us?” It was just further proof that what we’re peddling is like water, like air…it’s SOOOOO necessary. An officer of the LAW stopped me got a little bit of info, drove away and then TURNED AROUND! Are you serious?! Who does that happen to?...And on the DAY that we’re getting everything together for the launch no less. It was meant man, it was meant.

Everything that day happened in such a way that every experience seemed to just feed into one another. The premonitions have slowed down coming through my dreams by way of my subconscious. My conscious thought patterns and processes are bringing every person into my life now. Because I am experiencing this and recognizing what I’m experiencing makes me feel at once more powerful and at the same time more responsible because I AM bringing it all to me. So that previous wackness, yeah, I brought it in and the DOPEST, I’m definitely bringing it in. I have to be aware, at all times of my thought process and work constantly to eradicate any negativity by instantaneously replacing it with that positivity when crap wants to peek it’s little head in. I mean, before we left the house to go on that Starbucks run, Shak did her Tyrone Biggums impression, AGAIN lol, and this time it was Tyrone talking about wanting Obama to win, “Obama in ’08.” And she follows up with (in her own voice) “Uhhh, Obama was actually elected last month.” So when a real life Tyrone Biggums walks up on us in the parking lot of Starbucks saying, “Obama for President! And I bet that Michelle can cook, too.” We were a bit stunned because we knew Shak brought that experience into our lives. I just gave the dude a pound and responded, “Si se puede” (Yes we can), I mean what else can you say? Lol I further commented on the experience after we got into the car by simply stating “Shak… stop thinking about things or next chocolate is going to start raining from the sky.”

Sidebar: she has a MAJOR obsession with chocolate…for real. Check her profile pic.

100.

Bright

Inspire