Don't Worry, Be Happy...Doo do do doodoo doodoo :)

My belief #268: Clemies are definitely purely made of smiles

What gives me chills up my spine?  What makes me cry tears of joy?  Beauty.  When I think of beauty, I think of beautiful spirits...art...and determination.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I'm starting to realize that happiness is as well.  We are taught that happiness fits into a box or is intangible by most but I believe that it's in everything all day long.  I pray every morning and evening that I am able to see and experience how wonderful my life is moment by moment.  What I am learning is that gratitude is a major component of that happiness..that beauty.

Never compare your best or worst days to someone else's.  Why?  Because it just never compares.  We all have our struggles and when we try to do a side by side the scale always tips someone's way.  Who am I to say that my accomplishment of running without wanting to just stop already every 5 seconds isn't as dope as someone who's run their 19th marathon?  I always try to focus on the good even when it seems like it all sucks.  My motto#472 (yeah I've got like a trillion) is that "it's gonna work out because it has to."  That's it.  I am hopeful and thankful.  A friend was sleeping in her car and I could provide a place to shower and sleep for the evening.  I was so appreciative that I could help.  I've slept on couches before and this chick was just on her grind.  She hadn't given up at all.  She reminded me to be thankful I could be there for someone I didn't know that well.  I'm learning new things to be thankful for everyday.

Some stuff I am appreciative for in no particular order:

My homie, "Fat Steve", is in remission 
I love Clementines, and I like to call them "Clemies"
My sister
The rain when it comes every now and again in LA
Hot tea 
NetFlix
Faith in my practice 
My existence
Movies = my life
Love
Green
Blue
Music = soundtrack of my life
My mom
The amazing way that eyes work (think about it...you can focus on something close or far away just by thinking it, even if you don't realize you are)
Friends (every last one I've ever had and will ever have)
Passion
Celeste
Having my apartment
Daddy-o
Uncle Lo
My bed
LAUGHTER
Wine
Getting paid to eat sushi for dinner tonight (awesome!)
Learning to run
FreeStyles!
Missy Hardesty
Inspiration (because it's everywhere) 

Gratitude allows me to appreciate this grind.  To see all the people I can learn from and all the people I can help along the way.  It allows me to be inspired and not block out the inspiration because I'm waiting for something else to come along to make this very moment better.

Gratitude=Happiness

100.

Bright

Frustration

I haven't been able to sleep well for a minute now.  This morning I woke up and was still out of it, annoyed.  Got up at 3:30a to do my daily work out and was so frustrated, feeling defeated.  I've found myself feeling resentful and jealous.  Why?  Because my dreams have yet to come to fruition.  I see the people around me, those I love most doing it, being it.  But me...not so much.  I felt fraudulent.  I have all of these visions and ideas and still...nothing.  Nothing has come to life.  The webisodes that didn't pan out, different people who have flaked on projects, miscommunication and there's me.  What if this never happens?  What if I'm all talk and no show.  I can't stand those people but what if I'm one of them?  I am not a hater but I felt a disheartened part of me growing inside.  This ish is so important to me, of the utmost importance but nothing seems to be coming.  I am trying so damned hard.  Knocked on so many doors, done so much research...What am I supposed to do?  

Sitting in my trainer's car after I told him I had to leave, he talked me back down to reality.  He told me to take a deep breath and to just. breathe.  I shared my anger and frustration through tears.  Why can't I make it happen?  I'm 28 years old and feel like I have nothing to show for my love of what I aspire to do.  He told me that just like I told him a few days prior that I have to keep going.  That I have so much to be thankful for and to remember that.  He told me that I don't know the actual course of action that will take place to get me there but that place is still where I'm going.  I just have to continue to forge ahead.  He said, when they do the "True Story of..." are they gonna say "oh, she struggled for a year or 2 but everything was ok"?  That won't inspire people.  He reminded me of the people I give my love and support to, including himself.  The people I don't let fall.  He turned the mirror on me and showed me my true self.  The happy positive self, he reminded me of all that I've done and showed me that glass that wasn't half full at all.  It's nearly full.  Then, we saw a falling star.  Wow.  I had to laugh and smile. :)  

I have to fight my tendency to stress that which I don't have control over.  What I do have control over is how hard I push and for how long I'll go.  So, I'm remembering to remember that I've decided this path (or is it the path that chose me? lol).  And that I really am grateful for everything and everyone, including the people who don't want to be involved.  When I think I can't give anymore I have to go even harder.  And for how long?  Until the wheels fall of this thing.  Like Diddy circa '97 and beyond, "Can't stop, won't stop."  hahahahaha 

 

You can go hard or go home.  Choose your own adventure.

100.

Bright

Half Full or Half Empty?

I just have one question for everyone. Is your cup half empty or half full? I realize that this question is of the utmost importance because it frames a person's entire existence. Life is constantly in flux, changing directions at any given moment. The only thing we have control of as mere mortals is our reaction to every change.

How do you react to situations that are seemingly negative? Your car stops in the middle of traffic. Your two months behind on your mortgage and you don't have a job. You don't get the promotion at work. You have to work two jobs because your first job has cut the salary. Your girlfriend decides that she's better off without you. Your financial aid has run out but you need another $8,000 to remain in school for the semester. Your sister is an addict. Your best friend sleeps with your boyfriend. Your son is constantly getting into trouble and can't find steady work...

Every person reading this has a SEEMINGLY NEGATIVE situation(s) in their lives. So with so much "negativity" in the world, how are folks actually consistently happy? I think "happy" people, you know the type (they're always smiling and carrying on and stuff), are happy because they've made a choice. Despite the "seemingly negative" crap that is going on in their lives; they have decided that they're going to be "HAPPY". So next time you see a "happy" person on the street, just know that they have a lot of crap on their plate too. It's just that they've decided to smile about it and keep it moving.

P.S. My cup is 8/10 full.

Shak

100.