I'm Inspired by: Invictus

I’m at it again. I’m back to slaying the beast (ME). And this time that means that I’m going to do a mini triathlon as inspiration to get the last 30 lbs off. Sometimes we have to kick our own butt to get the results that we desperately need. Most of us write ourselves off. We think that achieving a particular size, fitness goal or career goal is impossible because the truth is we don’t want to do THE WORK.


I realize I’ve hopped off my path in 2010. I wanted to see what it was like to have a more “balanced” life complete with dating and going out to b-day parties and chillin’. The truth is, it doesn’t feel good, it feels mediocre at best. Sure, everyone needs time to relax with friends and time to regroup; but what good is a vacation if you’re not committed to the GRIND. It’s THE WORK that makes a vacation feel necessary and appreciated. And how much work we put in determines how we feel about ourselves. Right now, I need that hard core work as fuel for all my future auditions. How could I possibly go on all those auditions not feeling and looking my best? Acting in and of itself is reserved for the warrior class. First you have to work on your mental prowess to withstand the insane amount of rejection; the physical restrictions is only ½ the battle.

I realized today that by me consistently eating junk food and sweets was just another form of self sabotage. If I don’t look and feel my best then I don’t have to pursue the path 100%, right? It’s something about going after the unknown that just sends my mind into a whirl wind. I’m deathly afraid. And so…I try not to commit fully so I have a back-up plan. I can tell others around me that I never went all out; so I really didn’t “want it’. I’m in “waiting” mode. Fear is so subtle. It disguises itself as a host of other things that we don’t easily recognize. But I see it for what it is now. And it’s time to jump back on the path full force.

I can’t wait. I’ll update with photos AND video along the way. I feel the sense of urgency is now. I can’t wait another pilot season. I can’t wait another day. It’s not going to be easy. I hate getting up at 4:30 AM to run. I hate being hungry in the middle of the day when there are pastries in my work café screaming at me to pick them up. :) But more than anything I hate waiting for something to happen to me.  I’m the master of my fate.  I’m the captain of my soul.

Shak
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