I almost had one of those I-feel-sorry-for-myself moments. You know where you just want to throw in the towel and declare life totally unfair. Man, I can honestly say I really know what it feels like to know when something just isn’t in the cards. I have put forth so much effort in several projects in my life only to meet with a big, fat, FAIL on the other end. For this particular opportunity, I didn’t even get to turn in the video audition. I mean it’s not like I created the video, sent it off and then didn’t get a call back. I literally couldn’t send off the video. I thought maybe I could have put in more work, more preparation for it and that is possible. BUT I’M ALL WORK AND HUSTLE. That’s most of what I do, day in and day out. I told Bright, something had to be wrong. I do believe when a door doesn’t budge we should try again and again to open it. But sometimes after hitting your head against the same door; it might be time to realize that maybe that door isn’t opening for a reason.
And that’s when Bright reminded me and said, “Pal, I think you’re just going to have to create your own path like you always do”. Hell, our blog’s motto is “Put Yourself On”. How ironic too considering that’s what the show was going to be about. I was going to interview all the other “weird” people in the world who had struck out on their own accord. But up until the Oprah moment; I thought that “putting yourself on” included going after opportunities offered by others. Oprah represents a chief Inspirer, surely that was an opportunity worth going after considering that’s what I want to do with my life. But maybe not, “Put Yourself On” =Create your own way. Of course people, places and events will show up to help you on your way but they will not create your path for you.
I started thinking back to all of my failed attempts to become a part of someone else’s dreams. There was the time I flew out 2,000 miles away to try to get an internship for Rocafella. (That was an amazing experience nonetheless, talking to producer Clark Kent for like 8 hours). There was the pitch to Jay-Z for the hip-hop curriculum. (Another cool experience, Ta Ta, John Minnelli and all his boys had the curriculum in hand discussing it). How about going gold in a network marketing company only to find out the technology was flawed? Oh and how I can I forget, my last day at Interscope Records when the head sales executive told me, “You’ll be very successful in life but not here.” HUH? It was like a bad reoccurring nightmare. Actually, I do have a reoccurring dream in which I’m alone at the top of buildings and/or walking tight ropes but that’s a whole other story. Why wouldn’t bosses want a super driven, successful person in their company? ARE THESE PEOPLE TOTALLY CRAZY? What was so wrong with me that I could never quite fit the bill? I already knew the answer, it was buried deep down. But I’ve been fighting the truth for some time. I believe buried in our hearts are the answer to all of our questions. When we stop listening to our hearts, that's when we're in trouble.
It reminded me of my first experience with my “problem”. I was in the 1st grade when 4 students told our teacher I cheated because I finished 30 minutes ahead of everyone. All I could do was cry. I had never been attacked before for being different, too fast. I remember that moment at 3 am when I finished editing the project. It felt like, I was scared to run ahead and do my own thing still. In class, I would wait until the last minute to do my work that way I would never get discovered. I learned how to play small. Even though it hurt deep inside. Why was I looking for someone to give me an opportunity? I had all the faculties to strike out on my own, I always have.
I’m a creator. It sounds like a simple thing to say. But it’s not. The implications are very serious. It means that despite much effort, I would never be small enough to fit into one role because I’m constantly creating more opportunities in that role. DAMN! Most businesses are mainly interested in keeping status quo. That's the anti of creating opportunities but rather maintaining projects already in place. And it makes sense. Can you imagine if a business was constantly creating more products than it could manage? In other words, I do too much. I set things on fire, for better or worse. My greatest success has always come from creating something from nothing. In particular helping dreamers strike out on their uncharted paths. After all, they need a creative spark, fire to help them begin their journeys.
I think we dishonor ourselves, our family and God when we do not use our full potential. Boy does it hurt us too. We suffer greatly from resisting the urge to become more of who we are. We develop addictions, diseases and all types of ailments from trying hard to not fill our place. Everything in nature both living and inanimate has a particular potential. I truly believe it’s our goal while we’re here on Earth to max out our own potential. And we can’t compare our potential to others because we all have a different destiny. We just have to have the courage to realize what ours is. That starts with a decision to be who we “really” are. Usually, it’s a lot bigger than what we think.
And just like that I met my first helper to assist me with my new decision. I went to my lil brother’s boxing trainer on Sunday. I was drenched. I established a rhythm with the quick one, two three routine crosses, slipping, ducking and throwing constant jabs. Boxing requires crazy discipline and focus. I need more of both; I tend to be more flighty and less grounded. I’m in constant motion with more energy than a two year old. If I don’t use it, I become reckless, dangerous. I have to give it away constantly. When you box and become tired the first thing to go is the mental. That’s when you have to focus harder. Turns out I already knew the boxing trainer, of course.
He had sold his big time Rim shop on La Cienega to do what he loves, boxing. He let the shop go, to open a boxing gym in his own garage. I was inspired. No pretentiousness, no spa etiquette with warm towels; just a regular ol’ garage with gloves. That takes guts and courage to follow a path from your heart. But the clients were steady coming in, one left when I entered and one was coming in when I left. I felt the weight of his decision. He was dreaming up his path; it didn’t feel like I was in a garage. I felt like I was in a boxing ring, like I was training with a professional boxer.
He asked me. “What was my passion?” I told him I love helping people, particularly people who are stuck on their path. I’ve helped them my whole life regardless of what “job” I’ve held. It’s been a gift and a curse to be able to feel what’s in other people’s hearts. Sometimes they are not ready to know what’s in there. Of course, I was also speaking to myself. We can often assist others but can we assist ourselves? That's much harder. Often people want surface level help from me like writing a resume, learning how to speak in public or how to make pitch calls to people in the industry. And of course those are all helpful skills that one needs to learn. But it’s like learning the formation of doing push-ups to achieve overall fitness. It’s a useful tool, but what good is learning form if you don’t have heart to do the push-up in the first place?
Gaining heart, passion and overcoming fears is what is needed to help people make permanent changes. I’m an Inspirer for better or worse I told him. I can feel things deeply, mainly what’s holding someone back from their goals. I help folks identify what those things are and charge them up with positive energy so they can start on their path. I was trying to think of an example of someone that does this too but the only example I have is fictional, Tinker Bell. I really didn’t want to sound like a nutcase so I opted to leave that example alone. But then he went for it.
He proceeded to ask me if there was a name for someone like me. I didn’t know for sure, I wanted to say “fairy, maybe muse” but I told him “life coach” but that doesn’t quite capture it. That’s when he started coaching me. He showed me his cards and his website that he put together in one day. He told me three pieces of advice. “Be patient you might only have one to two clients in your first month, maybe none but they will eventually come to you and then you’ll have too many clients.” He also said, “Charge something reasonable but something that you would be proud of receiving”. And finally he paused, “find your niche, I’m a boxing trainer, everyone has their thing.” Ummm ok. Truth is I have many clients and have had several in the past, I just haven’t charged them yet.
WOW, I thought I was just going to sweat out the VODKA I had consumed from Saturday’s party. Man, I’m so not a drinker anymore. Those days are just about over. That workout sobered me up though. It’s another nudge towards helping me fulfill my personal legend. I smiled when I read his card. His name read Charles “Lucky” Brandon. Of course that would be his nick name. LOL I love this life; it has so many twists and turns I never know what’s going to happen next.
Shak
100.
P.S. Check out Lucky’s website: www.boxingfitnessfactory.com
If you’re ever in LA, you should get up with this guy if you’re ready to put in that work. :)
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