I'm Inspired by: Invictus

I’m at it again. I’m back to slaying the beast (ME). And this time that means that I’m going to do a mini triathlon as inspiration to get the last 30 lbs off. Sometimes we have to kick our own butt to get the results that we desperately need. Most of us write ourselves off. We think that achieving a particular size, fitness goal or career goal is impossible because the truth is we don’t want to do THE WORK.


I realize I’ve hopped off my path in 2010. I wanted to see what it was like to have a more “balanced” life complete with dating and going out to b-day parties and chillin’. The truth is, it doesn’t feel good, it feels mediocre at best. Sure, everyone needs time to relax with friends and time to regroup; but what good is a vacation if you’re not committed to the GRIND. It’s THE WORK that makes a vacation feel necessary and appreciated. And how much work we put in determines how we feel about ourselves. Right now, I need that hard core work as fuel for all my future auditions. How could I possibly go on all those auditions not feeling and looking my best? Acting in and of itself is reserved for the warrior class. First you have to work on your mental prowess to withstand the insane amount of rejection; the physical restrictions is only ½ the battle.

I realized today that by me consistently eating junk food and sweets was just another form of self sabotage. If I don’t look and feel my best then I don’t have to pursue the path 100%, right? It’s something about going after the unknown that just sends my mind into a whirl wind. I’m deathly afraid. And so…I try not to commit fully so I have a back-up plan. I can tell others around me that I never went all out; so I really didn’t “want it’. I’m in “waiting” mode. Fear is so subtle. It disguises itself as a host of other things that we don’t easily recognize. But I see it for what it is now. And it’s time to jump back on the path full force.

I can’t wait. I’ll update with photos AND video along the way. I feel the sense of urgency is now. I can’t wait another pilot season. I can’t wait another day. It’s not going to be easy. I hate getting up at 4:30 AM to run. I hate being hungry in the middle of the day when there are pastries in my work café screaming at me to pick them up. :) But more than anything I hate waiting for something to happen to me.  I’m the master of my fate.  I’m the captain of my soul.

Shak
100.

60 Days to Lose 10 lbs: Beginning August 31st, 2009

60 DAYS TO LOSE 10BLS:

Here's the thing about creating goals, first you have to start them (HARD AS HELL) and finally you have to complete them (EVEN MORE DIFFICULT).

Back in Jan of 08, I sat down with my Pops and wrote out my weight loss plans. It was simple, I wanted to lose weight to the tune of 45-50 lbs, I was a bit over 190 at the time. I actually created the goal not really to lose weight but rather to prove a point to my dad. I wanted to demonstrate that I could do whatever I wanted to do as long as I committed to it. Weight loss was something that seemed very difficult to accomplish. I remember running with a co-worker after work and it took me a little bit over an hour to run 3 miles. Having been a former athlete, I remember that feeling of being demoralized after the run.

After reading the scale and looking at it in total disbelief, I made a phone call on Jan 3, 08. I remember calling my girl Erica, a fitness psycho, to work out with me. Of course it was raining hard outside in sunny LA, and she declined the offer at 7AM. But I begged her to just come workout with me on that day. The crazy thing is it's been over a year and a half since that morning; and Erica hasn't worked out with me ever since. But I still owe her a lot for getting out of bed on that morning, that was the day I decided that I was going to change my mind about being stuck. After all being overweight, or being in a rut really has little to do with food at all. Usually it's something bigger that's holding us back, either a mental weight or block that keeps us from being who we really are meant to be. We never know who might help us take our first step.

Today is August 26th, 2009 and I woke up at 4:30 am as usual, ran a mile and a half at the gym and did about 500 situps, 5 different weight machines ect. Tomorrow I might be outside running hills or pulling tires with chains. But I can't help but look back and see the woman I used to be (in a word): STUCK. I think most of us have such a hard time just GETTING STARTED. We think of all the million and one reasons why we can't accomplish our goals. I remember thinking I'm too big to do these types of exercises. I'm too slow to run up the hill that many times. But the amazing thing about the human will is, over time, with one day at a time, those loud excuses become quieter until you can't hear them whisper to you anymore. Those are the voices that hold us back the most, the one's that we create.

P.S. STOP MAKING EXCUSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR THE RECORD: "I'M NOT A MORNING PERSON...I HATE GETTING UP IN THE MORNING". Just take the 1st step...join me Aug 31st. We'll keep each other inspired.

Shak

100.