That Heat aka The Challenge

What I'm reading: "Stealing Fire From the Gods" - James Bonnet

"If you go through it, you come through it." - James Bonnet

What I have been afraid of for the longest were my feelings.  I hated the fact that they are so intense, that I am soooo sensitive, that you can see them all over my face.  I mean that figuratively and literally.  My face turns red if I'm happy, sad or pissed.  I have spent so many years trying to hide and disguise them that it is only fitting that at this stage of my life and my career I am forced to not only deal with them but welcome them back to the forefront of everything I do.  I am working on several pieces and as I've been doing my research EVERY book tells me to listen to how I feel.  Pay attention to a negative feeling when writing because it tells you something isn't working.  Go toward that feeling, understand it and you'll come out all the better for it because your piece will be better because it the truest representation of what you want to convey.  Damn.  Really?  So, all of that crap I didn't want to deal with I have to look at head on because as I stated in "...Narcissistic", understanding me makes me better ALL the way around.

The writers, especially Bonnet, speak about really paying attention to our dreams.  Bonnet likens them to our own personal Rumpelstiltskin.  Rumpelstiltskin worked while the maiden was sleeping to make the hay into spun gold.  Our dreams are our subconscious (Rumpelstiltskin) working on our conscious problems (hay) to create solutions (gold) for us while we rest.  Fresh, right?  Sometimes I'll think that an entire idea isn't good enough because of that negative or "eh" feeling.  All it truly takes, though, is a little reworking most time to get to that "greatness" stage.  Sometimes I may have to scrap an entire piece and start again but I don't have to throw out the initial feeling.  Kind of like someone who creates music or paints.  You keep the heartbeat of the music or the color that you began with because that's the basis but the surrounding colors on the canvas or accompanying rhythms need to change.  A piece I was working on was feeling dead in the water because I couldn't see where my characters were going to or coming from after a particular scene.  I now realize that my first inspiration was the climax, I have to create the beginning for them so they'll get to that stage.  Mozeltoff!

"If you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen."- someone a long time ago

Addressing that "heat" is what makes us great.  Looking into the face of a challenge makes us actually face ourselves.  "I thought I was strong but now after going through (fill in the blank), I know I'm much stronger and better than before."  The part of me that I thought was the weakest is actually my greatest attribute.  It's how I connect with people and will get better at telling stories.  Sweet.

100.

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