Love Your Haters

Image by: Michael Louis Young

"How do I gain your favor?

I need to know because I care.

I need you to love me, I swear....

...I need you, stay there.

I breathe you like air." 

- "Hate" Jay-Z Feat. Kanye West

Dislikers.  Abhorers.  Haters.  You know them.  Maybe too well.  I've had my fair share...When I was in middle school, the teacher goes around the room to ask everyone what they wanted to be when they "grew up."  Everyone wanted to be doctors, lawyers, firemen...and that's cool.  When it was my turn, "an actress".  The whole class laughed.  "How is that funny?", I thought.  Now, I realize their minds couldn't wrap around anyone doing or being something different.  They were taught that or felt too ashamed to speak out about what they were feeling.  Not the kid, though.

I remember when I first moved out here and started working on videos.  When I was in high school I watched every single video that came out.  I could tell you who the director was before the credit line came up.  So, it was dope when I moved to LA to start work with some of them.  On one job in particular, I produced the pick up shot (when a key shot is missing for the storyline and they need to pick it up after the official shoot is completed).  It was cool to have the responsibility and I got another DP, film, talent, wardrobe, etc in 24 hours.  Things went off without a hitch.  Dope, right?  So, the director asks me if this is what I want to do.  "What is that?", I inquire.  "Produce", says the director.  "Oh, no.  Not really", I say.  "What are you interested in?" was the follow up question.  I say, with a slight smile, "Actually, directing."  The director cricketed (tm Bright) the crap out of me.  Not a word, and just walked away like we had never been conversing in the first place.  WOW.  I was stunned for a second.  I'd worked with this director several times and had developed a relationship.  Then, I thought, "WHEN I become a director, I'll never do that to someone."  Was I going to cry?  No.  Pack up my ish and go home?  Hell no.  This director was suffering from a sense of scarcity.  I feel really bad for people like that.  No one can take your vision or your voice away from you if it's truly yours.  You have nothing to worry about.

People who "hate" usually suffer from a host of things that have nothing to do with you, even or especially if they're your friend.  There's the usual envy/jealousy aspect.  Also, boredom or feeling unfulfilled overall with their own lives.  It truly doesn't matter what the reason.  Being aware of them is all you can do but I would caution against being overly suspicous.  That tends to yield a self fulfilling prophecy type situation.  If that person is your friend, address it directly.  No use in keeping crappy energy close within your circle.  There's a poem "Hater" by Maya Angelou, I just saw on Melody Ehsani's Blog (fresh designer).  

The best lines: 

"The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don’t know my story…
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!"

I firmly believe that there are two types people you run into everyday all day.   People who show you how to be and people who show you how not to be.  That's it.  They're both very important.  I try to remember to tell people what I like about them, they'll continue to do more of that.  I work to help people move forward from the position they're in if I'm able.  We are all supposed to do more and be more.  Even if you're amazing at assisting me then it's time to move on, if that's what's in your heart.  You've filled that space.  Being able to understand that has allowed me to release that irritation that I get from the "how not to be" people.  I appreciate them.  Hell, I ran into the director after years and bought him a drink.  Sweet.

100.

Bright