The Take Over...Love

there's been no mistake,
it's first degree murder
i know what's at stake,
i'll go a bit further
my grave I have to make

i'm strapped and ready
to set the world on fire
many flames are unlit
but they're not retired
who better than a misfit

i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run

i'm starting with the heads
cuz they are steadily rotting

freezing assets for access
financial systems tip-topping
this is play-time, it's recess

i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run

first your masks will come off
i'm the only one that can be armed
it may feel like a loss
strip down, no need for alarm
bare bones no shiny gloss

i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run

i may seem a little undone
but promise this war will be won
i'm loading up my guns

firing kisses and understanding
i'm loading up my guns
you're my prisoners
no one can run


Shak
100.

I'm Inspired By: Big Shaq Diesel

Yesterday was an utter failure.  I BOMBED big time in class.  But I had already seen it coming about a year ago.  Memorization kills me.  It's like I can hear a song a thousand times on the radio and maybe if I'm lucky I will remember the hook.  The crazy thing is I've gone from grade school to a prestigious high school to USC without anyone noticing.  The truth is...I can't hear music, I only feel it.  I can't remember what people tell me only how they make me feel.  This has killed me in relationships by the way.  "Shak, don't you remember you said,..."  Ummm...no I don't.

My emotional memory is a BEAST...I feel everything and everyone.  In fact, I don't even hear people talk at first (and I usually get accused of not listening), but I'm feeling what they're saying.  This is the most challenging.  Many people speak with words but they give off a totally different feeling.  I feel through the disguise immediately.  I smile, pretend along with them nodding my head, many times wanting to cringe. 

But in class I had to memorize a commercial in 15 min flat.  I didn't panic, well not at first.  I realized in that moment that I would HAVE to find a way to memorize info without a particular emotional component.  Or I would have to give it an emotional angle.  But how do you give a commercial about beans (the musical fruit) an emotional angle?  It's very funny, well that is until panic kicks in.  And that's when it happened, I let my fear take over.  What if I'm found out?  What if people realize that I can't memorize like everyone else and that I'm different?  I hit the front of the room and went blank.  DAMN!  It was just a funny, chill commercial but I was too worried about missing the words.  The words, the page, the selling point; wait what am I selling?

Thank God for Dave Chapelle.  I remember reading about when he first bombed on stage at a local comedy club.  I remember him saying something like, "Well at least I know what that felt like".  But I hate to lose.  No I really hate loosing.  And there is only way to overcome a weakness, practice.  Right???

I look at Shaq, the big one, and admire his basketball game.  During his prime time, he DOMINATED the courts with hardly anyone that could answer.  But he couldn't shoot a free throw to save his life.  How could you be that great in the league and not be able to make free throws? 

And how can I become a great actress without being able to memorize efficiently?

Because I will master EVERYTHING else.  And that's what Shaq did.  He stayed in his lane and killed anyone in that path.  Maybe, we cannot totally overcome our weaknesses BUT we can make damn sure that no one comes close to our STRENGTHS.  And of course even if we keep falling short again and again we practice on our weaknesses because we want to be great.  Sometimes I wonder why I chose this new path considering all of my shortcomings.  And the answer is simple.  I love it.  When magic happens, and I hit all the right marks it's like relaxing on a cloud, legs crossed and kicked back, while sippin' a pina colada. 

I realize that even an allstar like Shaq has moments of utter failure.  People are going to point out captain obvious, like how can you possibly act without knowing...blah, blah, blah.  But we can become what we WANT to be.  Don't just pick a lane because you're good at it.  It will be easier.  But will you ascend to the clouds?

P.S. Up next monologues.   I'm going to kill it.  And I'll post it when I have footage.

Shak
100.

The Night the Cops Tried to Jack Me for Inspiration

photography: Jewel K. Estephanos

Today we had our first sit down to offically begin the launch of this site. Things have begun to get a bit strange with all of the coincidences. Whenever we're together it seems that every single thing we speak of comes into existence almost instantaneously or we’re somewhere where someone knows one of us…it’s very Celestine Prophecy-ish. I guess I’ll start at the end, I always like stories that start that way :)

We go to Starbucks for the second time today and see the same group of older gentlemen sitting at the table in the middle and Shak even remarks on it…”Kinda déjà vu-ish, right?” We order the same drinks as before we walk out I look across the street to see what new art Mr. Brainwash, a new-ish Pop Artist think Andy Warhol circa ’08 but in his (Mr. Brainwash’s) own right, has put up. It’s so right on, of course, I have to point it out. As we get to the car Shak asks if I brought a camera and I “just so happened” to have mine in my purse. We decide that I’ll take a picture and post it on the site. I get out of the car and try to find the best vantage point for the shot because it’s dark outside and I don’t want to get hit but I’ve gotta get the shot. As I’m positioning myself in the middle of the yellow lined area on the edge of the lane for traffic a police car pulls up next to me and the officer asks, rather nicely, “What are you talking a picture of?” I simply respond that I’m taking a picture of the art work because we’re starting a company and wanted to put it on our website. He asked what the website was about, and I said that it was about empowering people through inspiration to go after their passions and follow their dreams. And so, seeing the sign from across the street was like God (the universe) talking to us as we were just taking a break from our session. He wanted to know the name of the website and I told him that we hadn’t posted it yet and that’s what we were in the process of creating. He said ok and I told the officers to have a great evening. I took a couple more shots and as soon as I got back into the car the officer had turned around and pulled up right next to us and said he wanted to know if he could get the website info and Shak said that it wouldn’t be up for another two weeks. He said, “Well, how can I find it later,” and I asked if he had a business card. He said, “With my email address?” And we said, “Yep.” As he was writing his info on the card we introduced ourselves to him and the officer that was accompanying him. He gave Shak the card and asked how we met. I said that I was the “brains of the operation.” Lol Then I said that it actually started from an idea by Shak. She expounded that it was something she’d been thinking about for about 10 years. She then said that she picked me because I was one of her most artistic friends. We wished them well and they drove away. After words we looked at each other like “What the f*@k?! Did that really just happen? Did a police officer just come over and try to get that inspiration up outta us?” It was just further proof that what we’re peddling is like water, like air…it’s SOOOOO necessary. An officer of the LAW stopped me got a little bit of info, drove away and then TURNED AROUND! Are you serious?! Who does that happen to?...And on the DAY that we’re getting everything together for the launch no less. It was meant man, it was meant.

Everything that day happened in such a way that every experience seemed to just feed into one another. The premonitions have slowed down coming through my dreams by way of my subconscious. My conscious thought patterns and processes are bringing every person into my life now. Because I am experiencing this and recognizing what I’m experiencing makes me feel at once more powerful and at the same time more responsible because I AM bringing it all to me. So that previous wackness, yeah, I brought it in and the DOPEST, I’m definitely bringing it in. I have to be aware, at all times of my thought process and work constantly to eradicate any negativity by instantaneously replacing it with that positivity when crap wants to peek it’s little head in. I mean, before we left the house to go on that Starbucks run, Shak did her Tyrone Biggums impression, AGAIN lol, and this time it was Tyrone talking about wanting Obama to win, “Obama in ’08.” And she follows up with (in her own voice) “Uhhh, Obama was actually elected last month.” So when a real life Tyrone Biggums walks up on us in the parking lot of Starbucks saying, “Obama for President! And I bet that Michelle can cook, too.” We were a bit stunned because we knew Shak brought that experience into our lives. I just gave the dude a pound and responded, “Si se puede” (Yes we can), I mean what else can you say? Lol I further commented on the experience after we got into the car by simply stating “Shak… stop thinking about things or next chocolate is going to start raining from the sky.”

Sidebar: she has a MAJOR obsession with chocolate…for real. Check her profile pic.

100.

Bright

Inspire