Ho-ly crap, I just got gut checked. I quit drinking and cigs and am eating supremely well so, there's no outside comfort. I'm processing and accepting this straight, no chaser. So, what happened? Well, I sent the screenplay I've been working on to someone I know who's a screenwriter. Man, when he sent me back notes..... I almost wanted to cry, for real. I mean, my jaw was on the floor. I knew I needed some help, which was the reason for me reaching out but, damn. lol And I can "lol" now because it's been a couple of hours but initially it was definitely a blow... to the ego. After about 15 min, when the shock subsided, I could really see it for what it was. I did know initially that I got exactly what I asked for, which was help but, I was still hurt. Why hurt? Because I put a lot of effort into it, read up, studied, cut, reworded, revamped etc. and he ripped it to shreds. I was basically told, to paraphrase, that after all of the revisions, editing, compressing and such I would have about 15 pages. Um, I thought I was almost done. Hahahahaha Bless my heart. However, I needed to see from a professional the best way to continue to move forward and what needed work. I am truly appreciative and happy that I had the guts to hand over my baby to a stranger and ask him what he thought about it all. I am grateful that he is knowledgeable and took the time to critique my work. What I learned from this experience is that which is easy to love isn't always easy. I have been in love with movies since before forever and I know that I'm a great visionary and I have wonderfully powerful ideas. I know I can actually write very well. Screenplays are a different beast. I decided to start writing screenplays because I wanted to be able to tell my stories, not just other people's. I need to showcase the truth about the human spirit and share how we decide to grow or not in a visual format and create it from scratch. I must dig even deeper, learn even more and make sure that I am absolutely clear in what I'm sharing so that even a stranger can feel it.
I am a perfectionist and it's hard on that pesky ego of mine when I'm not perfect out of the gate on something, especially when I want it so badly. I am still winning because I'm not throwing in the towel. Never gonna happen. And I am taking the feedback and letting it be a guide for where I need to work harder as opposed to simply lashing out and giving up or not acknowledging more effort is needed. I know that I'm getting better all of the time and this is a part of the process. How do we grow if we don't know what we need to do better? So, that initial pain is really just the sting of medicine cleansing, not poison. I've taken it in and am going back to work.
100.
Bright
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