What is an artist?

Dear best self,

Why can't you just bend?  How about a little?
 I think there is a big difference b/w wanting to create for the sake of having talent (singing, dancing, acting, writing and rapping) and having to SPILL out what’s inside you because you have to get something out to the world. To be honest, I was just about to go the regular Hollywood path, getting Headshots, taking classes, looking for an agent, hitting the audition path in order to fit into the mold but I lost all my energy along the way. Reminds of me of when I was in the music industry game, I would have killed myself trying to fit into their box, and almost succeeded against the strongest of wills holding me back. But in reality I’m not just a talent, secretly I’m really an artist posing as a talent. I’ve always been.


It’s funny because I really do appreciate other people’s visions and their EFFORT to create them. But when you see variations of the same PATTERNS, the same reoccurring characters being recycled over and over it’s enough to make me check out. And I see why many artists live lives of solitude. They’re so tired of the same song being played on repeat that they say to hell with trying to listen for a new tune. But new lyrics are written. And new patterns do emerge it’s what gives us hope. Yet, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Beethoven, Van Gogh, Cobaine and others have decided to leave this space. One can only desperately Jazzle (fit into the plastic molding) in an attempt to be normal for so long.

I finally asked my dad to level with me, “What do you see is my number one stumbling block to succeeding as an artist?” In so many words, he said, “Time, Resources and Focus”. He went on to tell me that I have an umbrella of projects with only a limited amount of hours and only a certain amount of focus to devote to any number of those projects at any given time. He explained that I have to increase my focus and narrow it at the same time. WOWZERS! Then he hit me in the gut. “I think you should get a list of all of the projects you’ve started and decide which ONE you’re going to accomplish first”. He went on to say, “This will not be easy for you. You’ve always had a number of competing demands vying for your attention. I suggest you take a weekend, a week or a month to decide which one you will prioritize.” Then he hit me with the upper cut. “Don’t abandon that first project EVEN if it means taking 2 years to accomplish it; do not move to number 2 unless you finish number 1. And it will be the most painful and liberating thing you’ve ever accomplished.” I appreciate him for his honesty.

All of a sudden I could remember the passages from Russell Simmons book in “Do You” talking about vision and how you should never abandon your original vision. GREAT! That now leaves me with making another BIG decision. Gotta love how answering one decision about your path (I’m going to create all original content) pushes you into making another decision (which content?). And the big Q: emerged, which one of my projects do I choose? That’s like picking between kids, if I had kids. How do you say, “I love you all the same, but I just need to focus on your brother this semester, well maybe the next four years because he’s about to go off to college”. I mean how do you choose? My pops also concluded with more painful commentary. I said, “How often do you think artists make real money”? He said, “Hardly ever, but when they are creating they’re happy and that’s far more than most people can ever say in this lifetime”.

Guess that old man has a point. Gotta love that wisdom!

Shak
100.

P.S. I love this guy’s story about what makes someone a true artist.
http://sye.me/post/742070566/what-makes-someone-an-artist