I’m an artist? WHAT? You got to be kidding me.
No matter what we do, we can only see so much of ourselves, especially when we’ve been living life according to someone else’s plan. And sometimes our friends or our family that “know” us well are comfortable with seeing us only under a certain light. So if you embark on figuring out who you really are and it looks very different than who you are today…MADAY…MADAY…you’re going to be under attack. Not just from friends and fam, oh no, your deadliest adversary is reading this blog write now. YOU!
At one point, maybe about 2 years ago I got the best advice from a co-worker at my current gig even though I didn’t ask for it. Don’t you love that? I was talking to a friend that sits next to me, telling her how it’s sooo weird that I always meet artists, especially right before they’re about to blow up. I told her how most of the guys I’ve dated are in the arts/entertainment world but I dismissed it to living in LA. I’ve often thought maybe it was just meant for me to assist creative talent. I had helped several people to date including students and friends alike. It’s funny how it never crossed my mind, not once, that just MAYBE I might have been one of those crazy, creative people. I remember going on and on, telling my homie that I just attracted talent for some odd reason regardless of where I worked. I could be at a bank and I would happen to find the one rapper, writer and model in the entire building. Even when I was a teacher, I was a magnet for the lunch time rappers and the school’s fashionistas.
That’s when my other co-worker cut me off. Apparently she was eavesdropping the whole time. Don’t you love the cubicle layout? Everyone and their mom can hear what you’re talking about. She first blurted out that I was in denial, and that the reason why I was always meeting artists and creative talent is that obviously I am an artist. Then she looked at me and said, “Why are you wasting your time here?” WOW. It’s not everyday that someone tells you who you are unapologetically. Well, actually people do it all the time, we just don’t listen. She wasn’t the first person to tell me that. It was just the first time I really heard it. Me=Artist I could never get that concept pass all the fuzz. You know, “Get a real job!”…”Oh, you left your real job to become an artist?”…
Hmm is that why I had left teaching to go into the music business? It always amazes me how strangers can see us plain as day but we set up smoke screens for ourselves. Ironically, over time, I had grown increasingly frustrated with the artists I worked with because they just wouldn’t commit to the path and GO ALL THE WAY. Maybe, I was really angry at me. And there she was before me, she was a mirror.
I had like one of those Twilight Zone moments where the room started to spin around me. LOL It’s a real painful eye-opener when you see yourself for the first time. It’s like coming out of hibernation, the light hurts at first. You start to think back to all these moments that defined when you were most happy and you wonder why you’ve been hiding from who you are.
But why was I so afraid to be the real me? Subconsciously by helping producers, rappers, skateboarders, football players, I was helping myself. And God was so generous to show me the talent that went all the way to the top. Sure I witnessed the starving artist but I also glimpsed happiness. We can only be who we are truly meant to be. I was pushing all the talent around me in order to push myself. If you want to find yourself…LOOK AROUND…see who you are. The path is all around you. WWWWWWWWWWAKKKKKKKKKKKKE UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!
Shak
100.
No comments:
Post a Comment